On Monday's episode of The Bachelorette, one of the dudes, a cocky jock named DeMario, seemed like a frontrunner until his past came back to bite him. Actually, it's hard to even say it's the past. His present intruded on his Bachelorette fantasy.
During the basketball group date, DeMario's (now ex) girlfriend Lexi came up to Rachel and told her that she's his girlfriend and DeMario is a terrible, lying two-timer. They had been dating for seven months, but a few days earlier he disappeared on her. She didn't know what happened to him until she saw him on Nick Viall's After the Final Rose suggesting that he and Rachel elope in Vegas. She was pissed, and you don't want to piss off a girl named Lexi like that. Bad things happen.
Rachel was pissed, too, and went to the locker room to summon DeMario. She walked him out like he was Joe Pesci in GoodFellas being led into a room covered with plastic. DeMario thought he was getting a rose, so he got a rude awakening when he saw the woman he didn't even bother to dump. At first, he actually tried to act like he didn't know her. It was crazy.
DeMario tried to weasel his way out of it. He was like a condemned man confessing to the JFK assassination with the weak defenses he was throwing out. She said he still had keys to her apartment. He was like, "I forgot, I mailed them back to you." DEMARIO, YOU DUMMY! Rachel was like, "DeMario, is this your girlfriend?" and he was like "blah blah blah this chick is crazy," which is what men say to discredit women, it's very transparent what he's doing.
"We've had sexual intercourse before," he said at one point, which was hilarious, because A) that wasn't what Rachel was asking, because that was already crystal clear, and B) THAT'S NOT HOW PEOPLE TALK, DEMARIO! You're not being deposed, my guy. You're not gonna get out of this by being clinical. Lexi showed Rachel the last lovey-dovey texts DeMario sent her before he went radio silent.
Rachel decided she had heard enough, and she dropped the hammer on DeMario. "I'm really gonna need you to get the f--- out," she told him. It ruled.
And just when we thought we were done with DeMario, he showed back up at Bachelor Mansion to beg for another chance. Who else can't wait for next week when Rachel puts him in his place again?
The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8/7c on ABC.