Caila got a raw deal. I'm no fan of Caila, but she deserved better than how she was treated on The Bachelor this week. Ben led her on, taking her to the honeymoon suite and letting her tell him she loves him about a thousand times before surprise-dumping her. I mean, it wouldn't have been a surprise if Caila had been paying attention, but the world barely exists outside of Caila's head, and she forgot that there were other women in Jamaica with them. It was rough, watching Ben have a great time with with Lauren and Jojo while knowing that Caila was blissfully unaware the hammer was about to drop. As soon as Ben said to Lauren "I've known I'm in love with you for awhile as well," we knew Caila's time was up.
Since most of the awkward moments are Caila-related, let's just get to them.
6. Lauren's ugly dress
During her dinner with Ben, Lauren was wearing a peach-colored dress that did something previously thought impossible: make her look less than great. Yes, beautiful Lauren B., who looks like the patron saint of sorority girls, had on an unflattering dress. The pastel paleness of the two-piece made her look sickly, since she's almost translucent anyway. It looked much better crumpled up on the floor, which the camera made a point to observe. Which brings us to the next point:
5. Ben slept with all three women
Wholesome Ben went back-to-back-to-back. Not unheard of in Bachelor Nation, but Ben's brand is so clean-cut and respectful and kind and all that nice stuff that this turn of events will surely scandalize some of the more conservative Bachelor viewers. But Ben's a dog in at least part of his heart. He sleeps with Caila, and then dumps her hard just a few days later. I'll get to that morning-after "I love you" moment in a minute, but for now I'll just say it was ice cold. Very few men in Ben's situation wouldn't do the same, but the fact that everyone in America including his parents now knows about his trysts is very awkward.
First a mini horse, then swimming pigs, now sea turtles. Ben's season of #TheBachelor really has it all.Posted by The Bachelor on Wednesday, February 24, 2016
4. Lauren is as cute as a baby sea turtle
Lauren and Ben had the best date in the history of dating this episode. They got to help sea turtle hatchlings march down the beach into the sea to begin their lives. There were hundreds of tiny baby turtles that are all supposed to be dead (only one in a thousand survives without human help, turtle wrangler Mel informs them). It's a beautiful, elemental moment. And Ben goes and ruins it by saying he's surrounded by cuteness: Lauren, the turtles and even Mel. Lauren's cute, but not in a turtley way, and I don't think she'd appreciate the comparison. And besides, it's inaccurate. No human being is as cute as a thousand baby sea turtles, not even Lauren B.
3. Caila's surprise
Caila, who had the first date and then apparently spent the rest of the week in Jamaica sitting motionless with a weird smile on her face visualizing stationary marked "Mr. & Mrs. Benjamin Higgins," finally got bored and went to Ben's house for a surprise visit. She interrupted Ben while he was sitting in a chair thinking about how he was going to break up with her right after they'd smashed. He was caught totally off guard, and he flipped the surprise on Caila. Not since Leah tried to undermine Lauren has a surprise visit backfired so completely. It was sad to see the moment her heart breaks.
2. Three minutes of Ben and Caila being sad
After the breakup when Caila was in the SUV and Ben was standing around thinking about what he'd done, there was a full three minutes of Caila crying and talking to herself and Ben putting his hands on his head while the sad music swelled. It was the definition of overkill. Obviously they're sad. It could have been communicated in 45 seconds. Instead it was three interminable minutes. I counted. Never has heartbreak been so boring.
1. Caila: "I love you" Ben: "......"
The morning after Ben and Caila hooked up, she looked at him and said "I love you." And he said....nothing. He did that smile you do when you're uncomfortable and can't think of what to say to get out of it. "Ben can't tell me that he's in love with me," Caila says in a voiceover that turns into dramatic irony in like two minutes when he tells both Lauren and Jojo that he loves them. Ouch. Sorry, Caila. She was a dead Bachelorette walking this week.
Bye, Caila. You completely live inside your own head and the show glossed over your pretty glaring flaws, but we'll be seeing you again in a few months when you become The Bachelorette. Whatever.
Next week is the "women tell all" episode, and it looks like it's going to be nothing but awkward moments. I can't wait.