In the Sept. 28 episode of Teen Mom, Portwood punched and screamed at her on-and-off fiancé Gary Shirley. Leah, their 2-year-old daughter, was later placed in Shirley's care after authorities in Anderson, Ind., began a domestic abuse investigation.
"Child Protective Services agreed it was safer for her to stay at Gary's because of all the photographers outside my house," Portwood told the magazine.
The MTV reality star is taking medication to cope with anxiety and depression. Being away from Leah "is the lowest of the low," Portwood says.
"I feel like everything is spinning out of control, and I'm trying to put the pieces back together," she continues. "I have to get myself better so when I get my baby back, she sees her mom as happy as can be."
Catch up on episodes of Teen Mom on Sunday, Nov. 14, when MTV airs a marathon running from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m.