We'll be the first to admit that, while we can't seem to tear ourselves away from it, we don't feel good about watching The Swan (airing Mondays at 9 pm/ET on Fox). Week after week, plain Janes undergo hours and hours of plastic surgery, only to come out the other end looking like members of a Pamela Anderson cult. But now that we've gotten a look at the gnarly choppers on recent also-ran Dawn, we're going to shut our mouths. By allowing this 33-year-old mother of five to smile without embarrassing herself or frightening anyone, the show actually has performed a public service. If only by ringing up the Indiana resident for a post-op interrogation we could say we were doing the same.

TV Guide Online: Since anger was one of your big issues, I feel obliged to ask — for the sake of my own well-being — um, are you in a good mood today?
Dawn:
[Reassuringly] Oh, it's not like that at all. I'm wonderful. Better than I've ever been!

TVGO: Since most people are terrified of the dentist, you must have plotzed when you found out you were going to be in the hands of three of 'em.
Dawn:
I was excited, actually. Usually, everybody is really afraid of the dentist, but I'm not. I never had dental care growing up, and, unfortunately, in my adult life I was a waitress, so I never had dental care through my work. Once my husband finally had dental insurance, it was horrible, so when I started getting stuff done on my teeth, I wasn't able to finish. That's why I had those temporary caps that I glued on. It was so expensive! So going to the dentist was the greatest thing for me!

TVGO: Did the surgeries prove your theory true — that changing your outside will change your inside?
Dawn:
I think I kind of said that wrong. It was my teeth [that I wanted to change]. That was my big issue. I dreaded looking in the mirror because of that. But I agree that working on the inside makes you a better person on the outside. I agree with that 100 percent. It was just the fact that I couldn't smile [that bothered me].

TVGO: Do you think some of the negativity that you directed toward yourself was the result of your father's absence from your life?
Dawn:
I guess it has taken its toll on me, but I finally just let it go. My bigger issue was with my mom. She resented having to take care of me on her own, and she did work very hard to take care of me. But she was a young mother, and she wanted her own time, so she dragged this kid around, then ended up taking it out on me physically and emotionally and any other way. So yeah, I think that's where my bigger issue was.

TVGO: Just curious: Did the producers send you home with the bags of lard they used to represent the extra weight you had been carrying around?
Dawn:
No! [Laughs] Thank God! I probably would have had to pay extra at the airport! I lost [the weight], and I'm doing good. My oldest son and I joined the gym when I got home, and now my sugar is Splenda, and everything is low-carb and low-calorie or no calories... all that stuff. I've adapted that [diet] as a part of my life — I guess because I had no choice! It was either eat this stuff or starve! And you gotta eat! So I began to like it, and now I do! I eat yogurt all the time, and I never ate it before. I make smoothies for me and the kids. It's good stuff!