Remember when Supernatural actually aired an episode titled "Jump The Shark" and it was kind of out there but not OUT THERE, back in those halcyon days of Season 4, when the most inconceivable thing on the table was not some rando brother/spare angel-vessel getting turned into ghoul-chow but the horrific and alien concept of Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean (Jensen Ackles) Winchester fighting? I didn't even particularly like Season 4, but dang, those were the days.
In "LOTUS," Lucifer possessed the POTUS, a forgettable schmuck named Jeff who was not the racist Cheeto parody America could use right now. Instead he was some dude along for the ride who even got to survive his stint as Luci's newest meatsuit because the British Men of Letters showed up with a convenient exorcism bomb just in time to make his unholiness go away without too much pain and suffering. Remember when ridding the world of the actual Devil was an actual biblical task that took an entire season of angst and ended with a shattered family and Dean Winchester's liver screaming for sweet release from his whiskey-soaked charade of "normalcy"? Then, Sam came back missing his soul, so he was kind of like a sexy-but-homicidal robot that made our loins very confused. Then his soul came back but it was mutilated to the point of making him an actual crazy person for, what, another whole season give or take?
Remember when Lucifer was scary and challenging? When dealing with him was brutal and even victory came with terrible consequences? Well, all of that suffering was for nothing because apparently, the Brits had a magical exorcism bomb that could have spared everyone so much agony and character development. I know, I know — the fact that the BMOL hadn't been invented yet was conveniently hand-waved with that line about the British chapter of the Men of Letters being "good doggies" who only come when called for, but we're talking about a global apocalypse and the freaking Prince of Darkness here. Whatever the excuse, the magic bomb is bad and y'all should feel bad about introducing it as a thing that exists, and I swear to Chuck if we ever see the vampire ray gun in action, I am done. It's literally taken Star Wars 10 years and more good luck than any franchise is allowed to have in order to make up for turning the freaking Force into freaking magic germs. Don't go down that road, Supernatural. Don't do it.
Anyway, while riding around in President Jeff's skin, Luci knocked up a pro-life chick and set off every angel radio panic button on the planet, because making Nephilim — the offspring between angel and man — sounds like a bad idea, but when the angel in question is the last archangel standing and daddy's perpetual problem child, well, let's hope Dean and Sam weren't too attached to those coffee mugs Castiel smashed during his little episode. Kelly-the-incubator-of-evil ditched Castiel (Misha Collins) at a diner using the old "I'm going to the potty but not really" approach even though Cas spent most of this episode being a BAMF with the Jedi mind-tricks, up to and including ye olde memory wipe and BEING A FREAKING HUMAN-SHAPED LIE DETECTOR. It's one thing to contradict your continuity across several seasons — that's a lot of detail to remember and we all have lives to live and so forth — but to do it within the same episode? C'mon, you guys.
That's where Supernatural's return next year will lead us though — tracking down Lucifer's baby momma and breaking the Winchesters out of federal prison. I know that mortal peril has become its own kind of joke on this series, but the prospect of Sam and Dean doing the jailhouse rock didn't get the fretting started like a good old fashioned "death" does. They're not a bunch of nobodies with no connections anymore. In this episode alone, the Winchesters teamed up with an angel, a witch, the self-proclaimed King of Hell, and a super shady international organization with probable government connections that could get that armored transport turned around with a phone call. Or a rocket launcher. Whatever.
Then again, maybe "whatever" is the wrong approach to take here. Something tells me "whatever" is how we got into this messy stretch of episodes to begin with.
Supernatural airs Thursdays at 9/8c on The CW.
(Full disclosure: TVGuide.com is owned by CBS, one of The CW's parent companies.)