Sunday

NFL Playoffs: Colts at Chiefs, Packers at Eagles
I nearly owed my fellow Eagles fans an apology. You see, I realized years ago that my teams always lose whenever I actually watch the game, so out of altruism I've skipped truly important matchups to neutralize my curse. Crazy? Syracuse lost to Indiana by one point in the 1987 NCAA hoops championship. I watched. I purposely didn't in 2003, but couldn't resist and turned the game on near the end. Sure enough, the Orangeman damned near blew the lead and that was only because I wasn't tuned in long enough for my bad mojo to build up a full head of steam. Then there was the Phillies' loss to the Bluejays in the 1993 World Series, which, again, I watched.

So despite wanting to skip the Packers-Eagles game, I selfishly decide not to incur my boss' wrath and do my job, thus choosing career over fandom, and the Birds squeak it out in overtime. I almost killed it for everyone, just to bring home a paycheck. (In AFC action, the Colts beat the Chiefs, but my powers don't affect that one either way since I watch, but don't really care.)

Sex and the City
Once again: not an ounce of chemistry between Carrie and Aleksandr. And she still dresses like she runs into her closet with the light off and puts on whatever she touches first. There. Now that I got the griping out of the way, I'll reiterate that Miranda remains my favorite by far of the four — her hatred of all things cheesy-wedding only reinforces that — and Samantha's breast cancer was handled perfectly, fitting the tone of the show very nicely without any of the "very special episode" taint I feared might ruin it. Bonus points for Miranda's anti-wedding wedding and for no one saying "luv-ah" this week.

The Surreal Life
Right off the bat, Danny Bonaduce calls these people "super-famous" and Ron Jeremy claims he's an actor. Truth is the first casualty. Then Trishelle says she doesn't think she's famous, and is pretty sure everyone in America thinks she's a total slut. So maybe candor's not entirely gone. (Well, except for the "everyone" part; most U.S. citizens haven't a clue as to who she is.) And that's the last snide comment I'll make about this show since, to paraphrase the great Super Chicken theme song, I knew the job was dangerous when I took it. That's also the last snarky crack I'll make about Jeremy, because so far I sincerely like the guy. Especially since I didn't even know who he was, either, before watching this. (And how do you like my column so far, Mom?)

Saturday

NFL Playoffs: Panthers at Rams, Titans at Patriots
The Pats beat the Titans, getting one step closer to being beaten by the Eagles in the Super Bowl. Likewise, the Panthers squander an 11-point lead but still manage to hang in and take the game from the Rams, themselves moving one contest closer to being defeated by the Eagles in the NFC championship. So long as I'm not watching (see above).

Terry Jones' Medieval Lives
Abbotts had their own armies, bishops ran brothels and archbishops often ran the country. Prayer was a commodity, and all commercial transactions required a cut for the monks. So much for the pure, simple, austere life. Surprising? Not to the people living in the 14th century who eventually attacked and beheaded the less-than-heavenly holy men, just as TV specials of the future will present the shocking revelation that we in the 21st century took an awfully long time to get truly cheesed off about politicians being beholden to big campaign contributors. But I'm probably being too optimistic again.

Wild Card
The suburban homeowner asks Zoe to take off her shoes before entering her home because she doesn't want her floors harmed, pointing out that spike heels produce 550 pounds of pressure per square inch. Now, if I remember my high-school physics correctly (and I sort of do), doesn't that depend on the weight of the person wearing the shoes and the surface area of the heel in question? So, just for the sake of argument, would she claim Joely Fisher and, say, Shaq would produce the same 550-per in a pair of stilettos? Meanwhile, the carpenter is sleeping with all the wives in the development and the one couple is running an amateur porn site featuring their neighbors, and the murdered woman's sister beat her to death in a fit of drunken jealousy. But let's not get off-track here. About those shoes...

Friday

Joan of Arcadia
I've said I'm a fan of this show despite my deeply imbedded instinct for sarcasm, but having the dead kid wave to Joan and run off at his own funeral is a bit ham-fisted for a series that's built a following on not overdoing it. However, Joan then finds its footing again, dealing with suicide in a tasteful and very touching way. Same goes for the teen romance-and-sex issues, and Will and Kevin's father-son dynamic. (Truth be told? I think I'm almost at the point now where I'd watch this show even if I weren't covering weekends. For real. And for me, a dyed-in-the-wool smart-ass? That's saying something.)

Stargate SG-1
Lord Anubis has a scheme to create an army of synthetic, characterless super-soldiers who are nearly unstoppable despite, at first glance, having no visibly superior characteristics. But at least Major Carter, Teal'c and Jacob/Selmak are able to stop the queen from producing any more. (And rumors that this story line is based on the same insidious process that resulted in the creation of the Baldwin brothers are, in my opinion, unfounded.)