SUNDAY

Survivor
OK, quick recap of the night: Love, love Coby and think he'll be the cutest daddy ever, Ian is either really dumb or completely crazy and Tom won. Yeah, big surprise there. Let's tackle the Ian thing first. I realize that he was trying to do the nice thing but, dude, this is Survivor, not playtime at the petting zoo; you had to know going in that you might tick off one or two people. After he took down cute little Jenn in the immunity challenge at tribal council, I thought for sure he was going to be in the final two, and I honestly think he would have had a chance against Tom if he'd just hung in there on that bouncing buoy a little bit longer. (I would have been seasick in 11 minutes and never lasted close to 12 hours.) I was hoping that all that bobbing just made him delusional. And while I was sitting in the live audience during the finale, I watched closely and didn't notice him kicking himself with those long gangly legs at any point. Basically, he gave it to Tom by asking him to take Katie. That nice gesture just put a million buckaroos in Tom's pocket. Not that Tom didn't deserve to win — he took home almost every immunity and basically tried to be a nice guy, but having Katie next to him was just a gimme. Besides his slightly chauvinistic attitude — nice job Jenn for bringing that up — he pretty much played an honest game. Katie played the slackers game — nice job, um, everyone else for pointing that out — and didn't really deserve the cash. Even nice-guy Gregg joined the picking-on-Katie game, though he later apologized. See, Ian, there's the lesson: It is easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission. Which shouldn't have been a hard concept to grasp for someone who so easily joked that Tom was three times older than him. Nice one. Good thing the new millionaire can take a joke, otherwise the 41-year-old firefighter could've easily taken down that smart-alecky 23-year-old.

Anyway, the best part of the whole three-hour show was Coby. From his "Don't Hate" T-shirt, to his out-of-control facial expressions to the news that he adopted a baby and named it Janu. Well chances are this adorable little infant will at least have great hair if her daddy has anything to say about it. And judging by the roar of the crowd anytime his face hit the screen, I think he has a few people out there who might have already started knitting him some baby booties. The only person who got more applause — aside from Tom — was my fave, Steph. So many people seem to agree with me that She-Ra rocked and looked great doing it.

Also, loved that Jeff Probst — who really did seem to egg people on more this season — brought up the fact that it seemed like he'd coerced Janu into quitting. Coby's baby's namesake said that wasn't the case at all, but at least it was nice to see that Jeff is aware of public opinion. Someone who is not aware? Wanda, who decided to appease her fans with another tune. I just wanted to hide under my chair until it was over. Which is what Jeff W. and Gregg looked like they wanted to do when asked how their island romances with Kim and Jenn had been fairing since leaving "Rat Island." Doesn't seem like Rob and Amber have to worry about another set of Survivor sweeties stealing their spotlight anytime soon. Oh, and on a random side note, I feel for the poor production person who had to swim back down and retrieve all those torches so that they could be auctioned off for charity. &#151 Angel Cohn

Desperate Housewives
This was a mighty tough week for the guys. Let's give the rundown:
Rex: He gets more bad pills, is insidiously framed for blabbing about his S&M fetish and, to top it off, has a heart attack thanks to George, while his loving wife makes the bed. Pillow-fluffing has never been so bitterly cold in its execution.
Carlos: He beats up the wrong guy, lands in jail and, when he kindly suggests that Gabrielle lie for him, gets turned down. Well, at least he has a nice, fresh roll of toilet paper nearby. He deserves it, though — if you're gonna screw around with your wife's pills, pay out of pocket, dude.
Tom: On the same day he impulsively quits his job, he finds out that it was his own wife who submarined him on an earlier promotion. Lynette is not gettin' any tonight.
Paul Young: The only thing his plan got him was a solid punch in the face.
Zach: He thinks his father left him, and all he got was a lousy T-shirt. Uh, I mean glove. Although, maybe he actually did get a T-shirt, and we just didn't see it on screen. You never know.
Mike: OK, it wasn't totally a bad deal for the plumber. He did get to pummel Paul, and he's moving in with Susan. However, he's moving in with Susan. That's literally an accident waiting to happen.

I guess the only guy who had a good day was George. But he had to act like an immoral bastard to do it. No, wait, I almost forgot — the construction worker who got to hook up with Edie had the best day, by far. Nice going, dude! — Danny Spiegel

Deadwood
"Sorry, Bullock," says Al as he comes upon the sheriff finishing the coffin he's built for William. Just two words, but it seems he really means them, even though he's really there to talk business.

Best exchange of the hour once again goes to our beloved Jane, however. "Yeah, you fat f--k, you're alive," she tells the recently perforated Mose, who's been saved by Doc's surgery, as he wakes up. "Let me die," he says. "What, is that thank you in whale talk?" she fires back.

Poor Wu, though. What bothers a man whose pigs serve as the disposal service of the town's murdered? Seeing a fire do the same thing for his rival's dead prostitutes. Didn't think he had it in him. And here's my error of the night: Jane's actually taking that bath I would've bet good money she'd never take.

All in all, another fine episode. The whole camp, and Al in particular, demonstrate that although they see death all the time, they can still be shaken by it. Maybe not by the passing of life itself, granted, but at least by the ritual and respects that follow. Sometimes that has to be enough. — Michael Peck

Grey's Anatomy
I always love when former cast members of the should've-lasted-longer-than-one-season classic Freaks and Geeks show up on current shows I love. That's why I enjoy my Linda Cardellini on ER every Thursday night. Tonight, we were treated to Sarah Hagan (who played Millie on FAG — what some of us Freaks and Geeks geeks affectionately call the show) as Devo, the Orthodox Jew refusing to have surgery involving a pig. Best line was Devo explaining her name: "Devo — the '80s rockers. My parents did too much blow." Sarah, who some of you may also remember from Buffy, was awesome, as was Kevin Rahm as the psychic patient whom no one wanted to treat. Izzie and gang were all scared of him, and so was I. It was so great at the end, however, when he said the words "coconut extract" to Izzie, and I died when he called her "Cricket" since that's a nickname of a good friend of mine.

Speaking of the end, talk about a gratifying one, especially since Shepherd was such a moron to Meredith throughout most of the hour. I was like, "He better have some answers for her." Nice to see he lives in a trailer but owns the land that the trailer sits on. More important, hello! The promo for next week was out of control! "Your heart will race... your palms will sweat... the good... the bad... the ugly... but wait, there's more... the last 5 minutes — oh, my!" Shut up... I... can't.... wait. — Dave Anderson

SATURDAY

Saturday Night Live
Your humble narrator ate humble pie on Saturday when, despite his worst intentions, he tried not to giggle with Will Ferrell, only to experience several involuntary belly laughs. Sure, many skits died bravely during the comic assault, but at least two hit the bulls-eye.

Best sketch: Celebrity Jeopardy induced gland-trembling mirth. Only Eugene Levy does Alex Trebek as well as Ferrell, whose verbal battle with Darrell Hammond's heckling Sean Connery was classic. (In the category "The Letter That Comes After B," Connery's question was "Not in the R's — that what your mother said.") Kudos also to Kenan Thompson, whose Bill Cosby rivals Eddie Murphy's, and to Amy Poehler, for a gloriously ditsy Sharon Osbourne.
Sketch congeniality: Ferrell's Robert Goulet trying to unload the cell phones shaped like his head.

Worst Sketches: I must be missing something about the Eurotrash Nunnis because they keep returning with the same tired misunderstanding. Though in all fairness, the skit offers a good opportunity to hit the restroom. Speaking of which, the sight of Ferrell wetting himself in the monologue produced a damp squib.
Update zinger of the night: "The California Raisins announced plans for a new tour," said Poehler, explaining a photo of Mick Jagger and Keith Richards.
O say, did you notice? Amiable Horatio Sanz got through a bit without laughing — it was the last item of the night with Ferrell as the "Jag-u-ar" voiceover dude/Swiss spy; new guy Jason Sudeikis (he debuted last week, but I missed his name); the hirsute, out-of-shape cowbell-playing mook who appeared to be belly dancing with the Queens of the Stone Age... actually, he might have been Ferrell. And hey, Ma, no f-bombs! — G. J. Donnelly

FRIDAY

Star Trek: Enterprise
I've been a Trek fan since the early days of The Next Generation, so it's gonna be a little weird not to be able to tune into the universe Gene Roddenberry created. Let's face it, though, Enterprise had its problems. And if this were the end of Season 2, I would've been pretty fine saying "Take care!" to this series. But dammit, somehow executive producer Manny Coto did indeed turn this sucker around. What a shame. If Season 4 had occurred two years earlier, there'd likely be three more seasons to go at this point. But since time travel doesn't actually exist (I think), we can't go back and change the past, and thus, the final two episodes aired on Friday.

"Terra Prime," the first, was indicative of the improved state of Enterprise. No doubt that Starfleet and alien integration would survive, but — especially since this was the end — the fate of Trip and T'Pol's baby was compelling (and heartbreaking) to watch. Also, I'd like to add, Trip's a real guy's guy, but damn if he can't bawl with the best of 'em.

The sudden promise of Trip and T'Pol's relationship made the finale itself all the more tragic to watch. That renewed hope was quickly supplanted by a sense of profound loss when we found that not only had they wasted six years apart, but Trip was going to die soon. Like many fans, I thought, "If they have to kill someone off, why did it have to be good ol' Trip?" Think about it, though — would anyone but Anthony Montgomery's family have cared if Travis had accidentally been flushed into space?

As for the rest, while it gave me an initial jump (of joy) to see TNG's flagship again, the contrived premise just didn't work. Who gives a crap about the friggin' Pegasus? Way too much emphasis on Riker and Troi, who did look good, but who are we kidding? Anyway, on the trivial side, Trek's long-term production team got some cameos, including staffer Dawn Velazquez in the dead crew manifest of the Pegasus, and associate producer Dave "Suspicious Diet Coke Can" Rossi as "the guy sitting behind Reed and the others at the ceremony."

So, for the present, we say goodbye to Star Trek. But have no fear, just like the future, a new incarnation of the Great Bird's dream will inevitably be here soon. — DS

Channel Surfing
Numbers has math for nonmathematicians, now perfect info if someone ever winds up on Let's Make a Deal. Otherwise this Fugitive-style episode was a little on the slow side and had much less of a finale feeling than last week's spaceship/terrorist attack. Although, if they are bringing in that Kissing Jessica Stein girl to be Rob Morrow's love interest next season, that would be an interesting development.... In a little late-night fun Jimmy Kimmel Live had Ozzy [Osbourne] meeting Fozzie [Bear]. What an odd but surprisingly enjoyable pairing. Having the muppets auditioning for Star Wars was timely and brilliant, though Fozzie might have made a better Wookie than a Yoda. And who knew that Fozzie was so well-rounded when it comes to obscure TV trivia? When asked where he'd previously done stand-up, he sighted Pink Lady and Jeff, an inexplicably odd and thankfully short-lived variety show. Mr. Bear, yes, we know you have a rat representing you, but you might want to get new bio worked up.

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