Wow. Rex died. Just like that. I can't believe how sad I felt watching Bree get the news and then, after the initial shock, gradually break down into uncontrollable tears. Like real life sometimes, we were blindsided by this, so the effect is both overwhelming and hard to digest. And to think Rex's final thoughts were that his wife possibly killed him (which he didn't know wasn't the case). Even though Bree had that hard-to-reconcile moment last week in which she waited to take Rex to the hospital (also because of a George-created plot), it seemed like earlier in the episode that the Van De Kamps had somehow moved past this. I imagine that at some point next season we'll see Bree discover what Rex meant by his cryptic note and it will be beyond heartbreaking.
What else? Well, John finally confronted Carlos and told him that he beat up the wrong guy. Oh you're s-o-o-o brave, you lame-o. Saying that to Carlos in a courtroom full of people and armed officers as he's about to go back to his cell must be the chicken move of the year. What a wuss. And finally not being a wuss was Tom, who, after finding out about Lynette's questionable scheme, told his loving wife that it was time for her to go back to work. Thank god. Sorry, but there've been more than enough "Lynette randomly yelling at her boys" scenes.
At the very beginning of the series, Susan asked, "Mary Alice, what did you do?" And now we finally know the entire sordid mess. But except for the actual knife thrust, nothing was particularly new or shocking. What I am surprised about though, is that it seems ridiculously obvious that Zach is Mike's son. (Two Watercooler readers e-mailed me with this theory several weeks ago.) Boy, just think how proud Mike will be to reconnect with his violent, out-of-his-mind offspring. "So let me get this straight, while I was threatening to kill your 'adoptive' father, you clocked Felicia Tillman? Huh."
With that, this year's prime-time phenomenon ends its first season. However, before I wrap up this sucker, I have one final question: Who was DH's most pathetic character? Sure, George and Zach (and maybe even Susan) are strong contenders. But I think it is, without a doubt, Edie. And not because she seeks companionship any way she can get it. It's simple, really: Just remember she's the one who actually has to sell real estate on Wisteria Lane. Good luck with that. Danny Spiegel
Once again, the show starts the evening with a bang. Well, a chop and then a bang, as Wu defies Al, coming out of hiding to send his boys to put a hatchet into the back of a guy from Lee's side before Lee shoots one of them. Thereby, of course, letting everyone know Al was hiding Wu at the Gem. And because of it, our Al's left yelling at his knuckleheaded henchmen like a Batman villain. Then it's on to a bit of folksy observation: "Something strikes me f--kin' melancholy about that creature," Con says while looking up at the stuffed bison head. Well, yeah. His whole body's gone, he's dead and he's hanging on a wall. Duh. But now here's the big man himself, George Hearst, finally rolling into town. And he's... Major Dad? Good to see Gerald McRaney can curse with the best of them. And oh, how we move along. Al convinces Hearst to let Wu take over for Lee in staffing the mines and Hearst moves on hapless E.B.'s hotel. (E.B. gets $100,000 out of him, too.) Then Al's manipulation of Yankton finally bears fruit.
Of course, the show's never without its poignancy, as we see Alma moving slowly through the streets and hear her in voiceover. "I am afraid," she says in a pre-wedding reverie. "I am so afraid that my life is living me, and soon will be over, and not a moment of it will have been my own and of how my body now tells me that is fine and right.... He is a good man, and he whom I love is here as well." All of which is true, but marrying Ellsworth with Bullock still around doesn't bode well for the marriage.
Overall, a nice balance between the joy of the wedding and the horrific violence playing out elsewhere in the camp and even in the festivities themselves. (It wouldn't be Deadwood without a mix of love and death.) Good for Andy for stabbing Cy, though. What do you think the odds are that Mr. Tolliver's really heading off to die? Slim to none, I'm betting. Michael Peck
Well I'd been waiting for those "last five minutes" since last week's previews. Very interesting. Derek Shepherd has a wife! But now we have to wait until the fall to find out if Addison Shepherd is a recent ex-wife, or if they are going through a separation or who knows? Very primetime soap. But that sort of fits after watching Desperate Housewives, eh?
Since George is my fave character, it was great that he had to expose himself to and (literally) get poked by Alex, Izzie, Cristina and Meredith. Loved it when he had to tell Mayim Bialik, I mean Olivia, that he had syphilis. Loved it even more when it was revealed that it was Alex who gave Olivia and George "the syph." My favorite moment was Cristina and Dr. Burke standing in the syphilis line telling each other they hadn't had sex with anyone else. "Do I need to be in this line?" "No." Then they walk away in unison loved the smile on Sandra Oh's face!
And, of course, I must mention the obscure guest stars. First there was Lauren Bowles as the bitchy daughter of the man with the enlarged stomach. It was driving me crazy trying to remember where I'd seen her before. Voilà! She's Julia Louis Dreyfus' real-life sister and played her sis on Watching Ellie. But portraying her mother (and you don't get more obscure than this) was the barely recognizable Patty McCormack. TV fanatics will remember Patty as Jeffrey Tambor's wife on The Ropers, but movie fanatics go way back with child actress Patty as the title character in The Bad Seed. Dave AndersonSATURDAY
Saturday Night Live
A vividly blond and slinky-svelte Lindsay Lohan demonstrated appealing self-mockery in SNL's amiable 30th-season finale. During the monologue, Lohan met her shorter, burned-out 2007 self (Amy Poehler, dangling on wires) the future Lindsay will overdo it on the Red Bull, star in Mean Girls 2 ("a suck bomb") and introduce late-night porn on Cinemax. (The PPV "Rumble in the Jungle" with Hilary Duff must come later.)
(For backstage gossip from the Daytime Emmys, click here.)
The Muppets' Wizard of Oz
This is not your mother's Wizard of Oz, and chances are it won't be your grandkids' Wizard of Oz either. It's overstuffed with too many modern-day pop-culture references that are likely to fly over the heads of their current target audience, and will probably only baffle the little kids of the future. (Though show me a 5-year-old who knows what the Kabbalah and Manolos are, and maybe I'll stand corrected.) I mean as a child-free adult, I thought it was funny that Dorothy refused to wear hand-me-down shoes (silver, not ruby) until she found out that they were designer, but I still think that the Muppet people may have taken it a little too far with their cutting-edge humor, because even I was skeeved out when Toto started tweaking the Tin Man's nipples. Yeah... too far for family fare. A laugh-out-loud moment came when Kermie, I mean the Scarecrow, cutely asked the very scary wizard of Oz if he were related to Muppet-master Frank Oz. That's just clever; so was having the Cowardly Lion (Fozzie) say he is a friend of Dorothy's. Cute and timeless for those who love the felt creatures... getting felt up... too much. And I'm still confused about the fact that Toto wasn't a dog and instead was a king prawn. Was Rolf unavailable? Angel Cohn
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