Friday's episode of Spartacus: Gods of the Arena delivered plenty of blood and bosoms, but like the vengeance Batiatus sought against Tullius, the good stuff wasn't served up until later.
Let's just get the pesky plot stuff out of the way first, shall we? With Gaia's help, Batiatus maneuvered Gannicus into the next tournament and got back at both Tullius and Vettius. That'll show you to beat, blackball and urinate on him. Over at the ludus, it was all about upward movement: Crixus caught Gaia's eye and proved to be semi-worthy competition against Gannicus, the Syrians got branded and Oenomaus was promoted to Doctore after a heartbreaking battle.
But enough about the story. Here's a breakdown of the show's most eye-popping and "Ew!"-worthy moments of the night:
Body Count - Total: 11. Okay, six of them kind of didn't count since they were in flashback while Batiatus was talking about his father and grandfather's champions, but the scene taking out Vettius' three minions had some satisfyingly brutal and blood-squishing moments. The Doctore choosing his own death by battle was disturbing, but the prize for the most horrifying death was WhatsHisFace-us the slave getting impaled sideways in the throat. He coulda been a contender!
The Birds and the Bees - Total: 2. After only a tease of Barca getting it on with his boyfriend, we got treated to a Batiatus sandwich with wife Lucretia and pal Gaia as the bread. It was inevitable. Gannicus didn't listen to the foreshadowing earlier, and his hubris walked right into the episode's most messed-up scene: being forced to have sex with his best friend's wife Melitta in front of party guests. Lesson: You might be the Champion of Capua, but you're still a slave that does your master's bidding.
Bonus - Did we really need to see yet another humiliating urination scene from that angle? Our eyes!
What did you think of the episode? What scene did you find the most disturbing?