Smallville
You remember way, way, back when I said I love it when Clark goes bad usually because of some sort of kooky-colored kryptonite? Well, I'm thinkin' I'm thisclose

to changing my mind. Lex blackmails some crazy murderer chick into using her psychedelic necklace with hypnotic powers to make Clark her boyfriend and finally doing what I so ridiculously thought happened weeks ago: break up Clark and Lana. I guess I should be thanking Simone, but I swear, it's been so long since the last new episode that I really had thought those two kids were Splitsville a while ago. How annoyed was I when the show started with Clark and Lana sitting at the Talon as if the last few whatevers (days, weeks, months, I have no idea) hadn't happened? But I guess I finally had to hear the actual words to believe it. "I don't love you." "It's over. Forever." Really? Ya mean it this time? Cause warn me if you don't. And I usually only like to highlight great lines, but this one had me experiencing some sort of cheesy aftertaste: "My power to hurt Lana is stronger than my powers put together." I'm sorry, but I felt sorry for Tom Welling. He had to try to make that line work. (He didn't. No one could.) So even though Lana's the victim again, on the plus side, Simone got Clark to strip. Plus, there were some Michael Rosenbaum-James Marsters scenes. Loved the multiple Miltons zipping off into the Honduran jungle. And once in a while, you just have to thank god that Martha Kent is around. She tried to clue in Clark to one fact: Lana Lang is not the soul mate he's made her out to be. And someone explain to me one more time: Why is John Schneider still in the opening credits? Things that make you go hmm...