Sheppard, McKay, Teyla and Ronon...

• Aug 15, 2005 04:00 AM ET
• by TV Guide News

Sheppard, McKay, Teyla and Ronon crash-landed ("Shot down by the cast of Braveheart," griped Rodney) in an Alcatrazlike prison located on an island that is a de facto feeding ground for the Wraith. In fact, the whole reason the Wraith left the remainder of Elysia (I'm guessing at the spelling) alone is because the porky, amoral magistrate cut a deal with a hammy Wraith rep who sips blood-colored wine with the phony decadence of somebody who has gorged himself on Anne Rice's oeuvre. Add Donald Pleasance's severed finger, and the plot would have been a complete recycle of Escape from New York (which, incidentally, starred Kurt Russell, the Jack O'Neill of the original silver-screen Stargate, a film that also featured James Spader, who was in Crash with Holly Hunter, whom I saw present a 1996 Golden Globe alongside… wait for it… Kevin Bacon). Not that I'd put severing body parts past Torrell and his thugs. They did threaten to kill Rodney's comrades if he didn't find a way to get the puddle jumper working before the Wraith returned for another feeding. In between threats, Torrell offered a shrewd appraisal of Rodney's personality: "Weak and cowardly on the outside with an inner strength of character." Even stronger was Elizabeth Weir, who proved she could play hardball as well as any of her subordinates when she stared down the Magistrate after learning that he was arresting his people at random to keep the Wraith's penal feeding ground fertile. I'd like to see Weir take part in more outer-worldly excursions — she's too savvy, tough and foxy to be stuck in Atlantis all the time. I'd love to take her out.