Charlie Sheen Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen's media blitz continues with the obligatory Funny or Die video, a cooking show appropriately titled "Winning Recipes."

Since he's a "rock-star Vatican assassin," his hands — which are never not holding a cigarette — "radiate sunshine" and mix up ingredients in a "cauldron of awesomeness."

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"I don't cook food, I will it," he says of the finished product. "Mmmm, tastes like winning."

Watch the complete video below: