Question: Televisionary, how do you get a boy to like you? — Marissa, New York, NY

Televisionary: I no longer have to, Marissa. You see, I've been married for a while and maybe you'll understand when you're older, but that changes everything. I, for instance, don't have much time for in-person male companionship anymore. Watching sports, political talk shows and network news is about all the testosterone splash I get. Well, that and trading Simpsons lines with a guy at my office now and then.

Oh, you mean

you? You can't "get" anyone to like you, sweetheart. But you can be yourself and see if he appreciates that. If he doesn't, you may be sad for a while. But you'll eventually find that just leaves you free to find the boy who will — and who you'll end up liking a whole lot better. It might take longer than you want it to, but be patient.

(Note to adults: Please be kind — I'm winging it here, and they never taught "Dear Abby" in Televisionary school.)