Question: Hello, Televisonary. Can you please take Lassie with Corey Sevier off of Animal Planet? It is starting to get boring, and seeing Corey Sevier makes it even more boring. Please have Lassie removed from Animal Planet so I don't see it any more on Animal Planet. — Your friend, TaranNoah

Televisionary: You know, when I was in first grade the guy who slayed all the girls was Bobby Sherman. After Bobby it was David Cassidy. We boys hated them both on principle because... well, because our sworn enemies, the girls, liked them — and it was up to us to scratch up all their Partridge Family records and teach them a hard lesson about how the world works.

It's not really a beef with Lassie, is it, friend TaranNoah? It's a beef with Corey Sevier. After all, you don't like the girls and the girls like Corey, so your enemy's friend is your enemy, right?

I must use my Televisionary powers for good, TaranNoah, and so I will not remove Lassie from Animal Planet because other children enjoy it there. But fear not. Within a few years you'll no longer hate the girls. But you'll really hate the boys they like.