Question: Dear Televisionary, I have watched the show Fashion Emergency for a very long time. Each day I hope to see some way to get on the show. Am I wishing for too much or is there a way? — Caitlin Landser

Televisionary: You and me both, Caitlin. Frankly, I look like I hit Haircut Day at Dodger Stadium, then raided Urkel's wardrobe and dressed in the dark. And that's on a good day.

You can apply for Emergency help by clicking here.

And say hello to that Leon guy for me. He's my favorite part of the show and I need him to settle once and for all the question of whether my socks should match my shoes or my pants. I keep reading pants, but I don't like the way it looks.

Probably why there's no picture with this column.