Question: I must get my husband Raymond on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. He is intelligent, charming and handsome, the gene pool blessed him with an Encyclopedia Britannica brain, and we're in debt. Please, dear 'Visionary, tell us how we can change our lives and show the American public the real Everybody Loves Raymond. Phone numbers and any tips on the secret juju of television game show magic are most appreciated. A winner's reward is in your future. — Jayne McKenzie

Televisionary: Well, say, thanks for the good vibes, Jayne!

As luck would have it, the gene pool granted me only a Bazooka Joe Comix brain, but I do what I can. The best I can offer you is a link to the official ABC Millionaire page, where they post the toll-free number at times when calls are being accepted. (Last I checked, we should be right in the middle of the latest call-in period, which at the time of this typing is Jan. 21 to Feb. 2.)

I honestly have no tips or tricks to offer. Believe me, if I did I'd be on the show myself (sporting an Unknown Comic-style paper bag on my mug to protect my secret identity, of course). What I can tell you is to have Raymond bone up on whatever facts and trivia he can. A friend of mine, who works as a researcher for Fox News, did fairly well in the phone rounds before losing out — and she's one smart cookie, so he'll be facing some tough competition.

Best of luck with it.

Do I still get the good karma?