Quentin Tarantino courtesy Miramax Quentin Tarantino courtesy Miramax

According to the U.K.'s Sun, Pulp Fiction auteur Quentin Tarantino was invited to direct an episode of NBC's hit series but turned the show down cold. "I haven't even seen the f--king show," Mr. Crankypants is reported to have said. "What the f--k is Heroes?" Um, it's like CSI and ER (both of which QT has directed), only cooler.

Tuesday's Today's News was written by Ben Katner.