To be featured during the third season of Speed TV's Unique Whips, premiering Feb. 21, Pamela Anderson has asked that her personal Airstream trailer be tricked out with, among other things (one of which I am not at liberty to share, though I really, truly wish I could), a mirrored ceiling, white shag (how apropos) carpeting and a round vibrating bed. [ Gasp] It's round? "This thing will be off the chain," customization king Will Castro, of Long Island's Unique Autosports, previews. "Pam gave us a lot of wild ideas, and she's going to have a lot of fun showing off her new toy."

I can't improve upon that. Let's move on....