Dear Nicole:

I am worried. What is the point of owning all those fabulous clothes (some of which I might not have chosen, but that's besides the point) if you can't look your best in them? Now, I know your weight has been a point of public scrutiny for some time now, but please do us all a favor and have a burger. No, you know what? Have a burrito. With all the toppings. While I love your random comments on The Simple Life (especially when you told your camp director he looked like Leo DiCaprio in the first episode), it's hard not to feel a little pain at the sight of your skeletal frame.

I know what you're going to say. Lindsay Lohan's back in rehab. Mischa Barton's in the hospital. Even your BFF Paris' news of a shorter sentence might merit more attention. Well, while all those stories continue casting celebrities in a bad light, I can't help but feel disappointed when I notice a collarbone before a cute hairstyle or an eye-catching dress.

I have faith you can do it. After all, you'll need your strength for all those crazy stunts you and Paris pull on TV.