Nicole Richie by John Sciulli/WireImage.com Nicole Richie by John Sciulli/WireImage.com

On Ryan Seacrest's KIIS-FM (L.A.) radio show yesterday, the Simple Life dimbulb was asked to explain the following invitation to her weekend party: "Let's glorify this day in your sluttiest tops and your tightest pair of Tsubi jeans, even though we have no clue what Memorial Day really means!! There will be a scale at the front door. No girls over 100 pounds allowed in. Start starving yourself now. See you all then!!!" So, what did she have to say for herself? "I mean, it rhymes," she noted. "Are you really going to take an e-mail that rhymes that seriously?"

Seacrest, getting all journalistic on us, then asked Richie about Mischa Barton, who got sick at the bash and had to be hospitalized for what her reps insist was a bad reaction to antibiotics. (Yeah, they rarely mix well with screwdrivers.) "I went to Ralph's [grocery store] because I wanted Sunny Delight," Paris' frienemy insisted, "so I actually missed the whole thing."

What about Lindsay Lohan? She was there, too. "I think she was there for five minutes. I was at Ralph's. No, I really was!" she insisted. "I was at Ralph's for 40 minutes." You know, I'm starting to get the idea that Ralph's is code for "passed out in a pool of my own sick on the bathroom floor." Just sayin'.