Question: Any new spoilers for Desperate Housewives? I'm desperate.
Answer: First off, was I the only one who felt Sunday's premiere marked a huge improvement over last season? The pacing was quicker, the writing sharper and the performances flawless. Two scenes stand out for me as instant laugh-out-loud classics: Lynette changing her daughter's diaper during her job interview and Bree replacing Rex's tie in the middle of his funeral. (Oh, and loyal AA readers must've experienced a sense of déjà vu when Betty Applewhite and her son ventured down into the basement dungeon to feed their prisoner.) On the spoiler front, I'm not one to tout a rival sleuth, but USA Today's Will Keck dropped more than a few plot nuggets in his front-page story last Friday. Among the doozies: A wedding will take place early this season, and someone will die within the first 13 episodes. Unfortunately, Mr. Keck didn't get to the bottom of the show's biggest mystery to date: Why the heck didn't Teri Hatcher pose with her fellow Housewives backstage at the Emmys following Felicity Huffman's big win? All the principal Wisterians were on hand but her. Sounds like a case for the detectives at Vanity Fair.