Jake Johnson, Zooey Deschanel
Dear New Girl,
To paraphrase Mean Girls' queen bee Regina George: Stop trying to make Nick and Jess happen! We get it; the chemistry and tension was undeniable between the two of them over the first two seasons, but you gave in and paired them up too early. (Props to The Mindy Project for making us wait for Danny and Mindy!)
New Girl keeps Damon Wayans, Jr. for remainder of season
As soon as Nick (Jake Johnson) and Jess (Zooey Deschanel) got together, all the best parts of their personalities were dropped. Nick shines when he's a loveable failure who can't get his life together. Having Jess force him to clean up his act is not only wrong (isn't she supposed to love him as he is?), but it also doesn't give Nick a real chance to grow. His life should not be defined by a woman. He needs to figure out how to be a man on his own.
In turn, Jess is also a mess when it comes to relationships, but she's usually counterbalanced by a more mature male — Dermot Mulroney's Russell, for one. Pairing two dysfunctional characters is a recipe for disaster because now Jess' shtick comes off as campy, not adorable.
Also, Nick and Jess' tension used to thrive on the all-out arguments they'd have because they couldn't stand each other. It was exciting and enjoyable to watch. Now however, if an argument arises, it just comes off as Jess nagging Nick. This has rendered their sexual chemistry almost nonexistent. What ever happened to that smoldering first kiss that fogged up our TV screens? As it is, they act like they're having sex almost hourly, but we have a difficult time believing that's happening since the Nick we used to love has totally been neutered by Jess.
Will New Girl suffer from the Moonlighting curse?
So please, break them up! Sure, you were probably going to go that route eventually and then get them back together again. But do something original and get out of the Friends formula: Don't pull a Ross and Rachel. Let Nick and Jess split now and make it permanent. If/when they finally find true love, we just hope that it's not with each other ... and that it takes a long, long time to find The One. After all, their disastrous relationship choices are what make this show amazing.