Tony DiNozzo is back this week on NCIS!

Well... Anthony DiNozzo Sr., that is.

"Senior" (Robert Wagner) is in town at the behest of his son, who we learn is loving life in Paris so much that he's decided to stay there with his daughter Tali "indefinitely." (Would Tony have loved Paris so much if Bull hadn't been picked up for a full season? We'll never know.)

Anyway, in his son's absence, DiNozzo Sr. is acting as landlord for Tony's apartment and adoptive father of his fish, and wants to get rid of both of those possessions as quickly as possible. Abby (Pauley Perrette) and Bishop (Emily Wickersham) both throw their names in the ring to adopt Kate and Ziva, but the competition for the apartment is much stiffer.

Abby, Bishop and McGee (Sean Murray) get first dibs, after Senior calls them all to meet in the unit, never anticipating that they all would want to take over the lease. Later, Torres (Wilmer Valderrama) also expresses interest, but Bishop tries to dissuade him by pointing out that a "bloodbath" once went down in the apartment. Apparently for Torres, though, cheap rent in Dupont Circle trumps murder any day.

NCIS Mega Buzz: What's the secret connection between Quinn and Torres?

What ensues is everyone launching full-on campaigns to convince DiNozzo Sr. to hand over the keys. Abby argues that she needs the extra space for her dog collars, McGee shows off his and Delilah's engagement photo album, and Bishop emails him a lengthy essay making her case.

While all this is going on, Quinn (Jennifer Esposito) is having a hard time focusing on work after having a sex dream about Gibbs (Mark Harmon) the previous evening, which is always a good way to make things awkward between an employee and boss. But any attraction she has to him is quashed when he reads an ellipses aloud as "dot dot dot" during an interrogation. Apparently, this is a dealbreaker for Quinn. (Something to do with an uncle.)

In the end, Senior decides to draw a name in order to decide who to give the apartment to. With a little help from Jimmy (Brian Dietzen), a random winner is chosen and it's... Torres! (Cue Anthony asking, "Who the hell is Torres?!") McGee graciously drops by to congratulate his new colleague on the new digs and offers to help with the wiring. And he's rewarded handsomely for his kindness: Torres decides to give McGee the keys to the apartment, noting that he's trying to do the right thing and the home is a privilege McGee and Delilah deserve. Suffice it to say, McGee is going to owe Torres for life.

Still up in the air: Who got the fish?

NCIS airs Tuesdays at 8/7c on CBS.

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