The N-Word
Trio's repeating its well-meaning special tonight. And, OK, here's the deal. If you're not black, don't say the N-word. If you are black, don't say it. How about, everybody, just don't say it? Some words deserve to die.

North Shore Don't make Frankie angry. You won't like him when he's angry. Apparently, in addition to being the Grand Waimea's all-seeing, no-cost counseling bartender extraordinaire,

Jason Momoa's character is also the pretty-boy muscle who lends beach cred to "haole" wannabe pro surfers like Gabriel (Corey Sevier). Frankie's only purpose this entire episode was to smooth things over for the lifeguard who got in too deep when he crashed a local's water toy then couldn't pay to have it fixed. That scene where he and Jason went to back Gabe up with the local boys was so West Side Hawaii Story it had me rolling. I mean, the big bad local surfer guy actually had the words "north shore" tattooed prison issue style across his chest. (It cracks me up just to type that. "North Shore." Like, that's extreme. That's hardcore. Man, that's serious ink.) I would still be laughing if I hadn't been distracted — or should I say momentarily blinded — by Momoa's beautifully lubed arms. When he slammed that guy up against the wall, his muscles... yum... what was I talking about again?

Boost Mobile Commercial
That granny who uses "like, hell's yeah" and "getting 10 kinds of nasty" in complete sentences is out of control. For real. They are wrong for that.

For Love or Money
A few things:
1. I wish I'd seen the recap of Rachel and Preston's first date before I went out on my dates this weekend. (See how I slipped that in there — me and the having of the dates?) As soon as she got quality alone time with the guy, Rachel flipped the flatter switch and basically started itemizing all the things she liked about him. She said stuff like "You're so cute" and "I like your lips, your teeth, your eyes..." And he ate it up. Me? I didn't do any of that. And I'm guessing I probably should have. Note to self. Go through the list, Rochell. Go through the list!
2. So Preston picked PJ! And Rachel didn't slap him for it. Go figure. When Preston said — after much delay by the evil scene-splicing editors — "I'm going to have to ask for the ring back," I was praying Rachel would go all Jerry Springer and shove that thing down his throat. But no. Civility and class won out — again. What is wrong with people?
3. While I'm questioning things, how great would it have been if PJ had picked the money over Preston? Or, even better, if she had picked him but he picked her check? That would have been some drama right there. Especially since PJ's check was only worth $1. Ah, I can only dream...
4. Oh, and note to Rachel: that red dress you wore in the "two weeks later" segment was flame-on-scorch hot. Full-on fierce. I still don't like you (or your TV persona, shall we say). But, in that dress, girl, you go.
5. The "next season" of For Love or Money starts next week. According to the promos, they're going to pit Rachel and another rejected bachelorette against each other in a battle to be queen of a manse full of 15 men. Don't ask me to explain it any better than that because I didn't really get it. And, honestly, I'm not sure that I want to. This girl's trying to find a non-reality show to watch on Monday nights.

The Ranch
And I hate to say it, but this soap about the women who live and work in the Diamondback brothel just might have to be it. Oh, don't act surprised. Yes, it's TV-MA but it's not as sleazy as it sounds. Seriously. I mean, on the surface it might look like I'm going from bad reality TV to even worse cable dramas. But this first episode — which they called a "movie" for some strange reason — was actually pretty good. It was relatively low on the smut and high on heart-tugging story lines. I didn't want to feel for the whores, but I cried a little when Shayna's sister left her on her wedding day because she'd told her she was really a working girl and not a flight attendant. Poor thing.

Who Wants to Marry My Dad?
The daughters eliminated Tammy because they didn't think she would she would "compromise" with their dad. OK. That's fine. So, um, I know why Tammy was crying. And I can understand why Marty teared up. But why were the other women boo-hooing? I mean, come on now. Did they really bond like that?

The New Adidas Commercial
I wish some guy would do a front tuck onto the middle of my picnic table. Shoot. He'd better be running. Otherwise that would be the last tuck he did in his life.

True Life: I'm Obese
So my friend called and said, "Girl, turn to MTV!" I did and I couldn't believe what I saw. All I'm going to say is, if you haven't seen this True Life, catch it on reruns. Because it is an eye-opener. There's this one 27-year-old lady named Amy. She weighs 550 pounds and suffers from lymphomia-something-or-other. It's a debilitating disease that causes her limbs to swell with water, fat, etc. It is not cute. She's practically bed-ridden and her husband (!) Kenneth has to do everything for her. God bless that man. He is so sweetly devoted to his wife that I didn't even recognize that emotion. I was like, "Is that love?" My friend, who made me promise not to mention her name, replied, "That's crazy. What's wrong with him?" See how jaded we are. But, for real, though. Watch this show. It's quality television.