Our top moments of the week:
13. Worst Sleepover: When Marcus' dad, Hugh, comes to town on About a Boy, he crashes at Will's place. Unfortunately, Hugh is a "hot sleeper," so he insists on slumbering in the nude and later sneaks to Will's bed when the couch isn't up to snuff. When a sudden knock at the door wakes them, Will finds himself and Hugh fully spooning with some unconscious caressing thrown in for good measure. Who needs fishing and beer when you have male bonding like this?
12. Best Rescue: Stuck under the rubble after the hospital explosion on Chicago Fire, Dawson takes a page from Titanic and finds two poles to hit together to signal her location. Her boyfriend Casey, along with Severide, hear the noise and push their way through the debris and concrete to find her. "Damn, Dawson you look like hell," Severide tells her with a huge smile on his face as Casey goes in to kiss Dawson. It helps to have friends in
high low places.
11. Best Gift: Chicago P.D. picks up where Fire left off and reveals that, despite the doctors' best efforts, the surgery to save Holly's 9-year-old sister Imogen and reverse the extensive damage her brain suffered from the explosion is unsuccessful. Dr. Arata asks her parents to donate Imogen's liver to another 9-year-old, Zoey, who was also injured in the explosion and will die without the transplant. "If you agree, your daughter's death won't be meaningless," Dr. Arata says moments before her father consents to the donation. Pass the tissues, please.
10. Worst Reporting: When someone injures their back, it's probably best to get them to the ER ASAP. Not if you're on Dancing with the Stars though! After Amy Purdy felt her back pop following her performance, causing shortness of breath, Erin Andrews spends what seems like an eternity interrogating a visibly pained and out-of-breath Purdy about the injury. We're just shocked they didn't mic her all the way to the hospital.
9. Worst Twist: No one expected Bloodlines to be great original television, but the Supernatural spin-off surpasses even our low expectations when it ends with the ultimate cliché: the classic dead parent is alive reveal. After Ennis decides to become a hunter, he receives a phone call from none other than his allegedly dead dad telling him to pursue a different line of work. But if you ask us, someone who fakes his own death and orphans his only child isn't exactly a person who should be handing out life advice.
8. Best Farewell: When a jury refuses to indict Law & Order: SVU's Benson on charges related to her multiple encounters with William Lewis, she is finally able to return to work. After learning the good news, she gets the closure she really needs when she visits the morgue and takes one final look at Lewis' lifeless body. Like her therapist and as <strike>Adele Dazeem</strike> Idina Menzel say: Let it go!
7. Best Rant: As a diehard Star Wars fan since he was 13 — "Princess Leia's firm, high buns stirred something in me" — Stephen Colbert is absolutely outraged at the new cast members and the yawn-worthy first cast photo at a table read, which is far too homo sapien-normative for his tastes. "It is so cool to get a glimpse behind the scenes, which is why I'm giving a wag of my finger to J.J. Abrams for blowing it," Colbert rails on The Colbert Report. "Look at this photo. Everything is wrong. Where's the creature design? Every single character is humanoid, with two arms and two legs." He's not wrong about the couches. As Yoda would say, "So ugly that is."
6. Worst Mother: Betty
Draper Francis returns to Mad Men to remind us once again that she's a terrible mother. Although she spends quality time with her son Bobby while chaperoning a school field trip to farm, Betty's true colors come out when Bobby accidentally trades his mother's sandwich for a bag of gumdrops. Although Bobby tries to undo his mess, Betty refuses to see the simple mistake as anything but a personal affront that proves her kids hate her. "Eat your candy," she hisses at a sheepish Bobby. Come on, Betty, don't cry over (unpasteurized) spilled milk!
5. Worst Cliff-Hanger: Has The Following wrapped up the Ryan Hardy-Joe Carroll story line for good? That might be the case, now that Joe is in custody after Ryan passes up the opportunity to kill him in the Season 2 finale. Instead, the focus next season may shift to Mark, who will undoubtedly be out for revenge after the murders of his mother and twin brother. After evading the police at the house in New Jersey, Mark tells the unseen person who picks him up, "I didn't know who else to call." So, who's driving that truck? Do we even care at this point?
4. Best Mourning After: May the force of Professor Proton be with Sheldon in life and death. Proton (Bob Newhart) dies on The Big Bang Theory, but he lives on in Jedi master form in Sheldon's mind, coming to him in a dream to help him move past the denial phase. "It's OK to be sad about [deaths]," he says. "Just make sure you appreciate those who are still there for you." When Sheldon awakes, he immediately hugs Leonard, who had earlier tried to embrace him. Altogether now: Aww!
3. Most Surprising (Non) Reunion: The long-awaited Grey's Anatomy reunion seems to tee up Burke asking Cristina to come work with him so the exes can be together again, but not so fast! He reveals he wants her to replace him as the head of a hospital in Zurich, not rekindle the flame. In fact... he wants to spend more time with his wife and family. Looks like Yang is going be eating Swiss chocolate on the regular from now on!
2. Best Wino: We all know Diane Keaton is a lush. But the Oscar winner takes it to the next level on The Tonight Show when Jimmy Fallon challenges her to a game of
beer wine pong. Except Diane has no idea how to play — nor does she care to learn. Instead, she fires ping pong balls at Jimmy, guzzles the wine and repeatedly proclaims, "I win! I win!" before Jimmy dumps a basket of balls on her. So... when can we drink with you, Diane?
1. Worst Christening: Game of Thrones sees your bris and raises you its scarier infant rite of passage. On the HBO fantasy drama, viewers finally learn what the eerie White Walkers are doing with those newborn baby boys left out for them as a "gift of the gods." One touch by the chief transforms the kid's eyes an electric blue, which presumably means that the tiny human is now a tiny White Walker. Awful or adorable? It depends if they're building an army or a flash mob.
What were your top moments?