Our top moments of the week:
14. Worst Melodrama: It's midway through Dancing with the Stars, and that means it's time for the annual Maks temper tantrum. Still burned by Julianne Hough's "phoning it in" comment and feeling the pressure to deliver for Meryl Davis, Maks comes thisclose to blowing a gasket, but is talked off the ledge by Meryl, who tells him to hold her hand. "It's really crazy. I must be the weakest freaking person in this cast," he says. "There's something about the nature of this show. ... It gets to you. I used to be too proud to admit it and now I'm too proud not to admit it." Has beauty tamed the beast? Eh, just for that week.
13. Best Resurrection: On the Season 2 premiere of Orphan Black, we're shocked and gratified to learn that Helena — the crazy, religious fanatic clone who was killed off last year — is actually still alive, if not exactly well. "Excuse me, my sister shot me," she tells an ER nurse before collapsing in a bloody heap. She may be a clone, but her particular brand of hungry insanity is one of a kind. Welcome back, Helena.
12. Best Save: Can you hear me now? The Voice's first live show of the season goes off with a hitch when the microphone cuts out during finalist Kristen Merlin's emotional performance of Sugarland's "Stay." Although viewers at home can't hear her at all, Kristen continues to sing, and someone rushes on stage to give her a new microphone just in time for the last few words. All four coaches stand up from their big red chairs and give her a rousing standing ovation. Now that deserves a mic drop!
11. Best Kill-Off: Another Arrow character must pay the ultimate price for being in Oliver's inner circle — only this time, instead of his best friend (RIP Tommy!), it's his mother. When Slade forces Oliver to choose between his mother and little sis Thea, Moira Queen decides to sacrifice her own life to protect her children. Of course, that only comes after she was about to reveal a big secret about Malcolm Merlyn, but we think we know the answer to that.
10. Worst Kill-Off: What goes around comes around on Fox's The Following when Claire revenge-murders Emma. We weren't exactly rooting for the matricidal murderer/Joe Carroll protégé, but we're more than a little sad that the show decided to kill off arguably its most interesting character — and left an excellent actress, Valorie Curry, out of a job. Worst, Emma's death continues a frustrating trend in The Following's sophomore season of killing off characters without rhyme or reason.
9. Best Valentine's Day Gift: On Mad Men, Don is forced to come clean about his leave of absence when Sally visits Sterling Cooper & Partners office only to find her father's office occupied by another man. Although Don and Sally's road trip back to boarding school is tense until Don finally reveals his Hershey meeting meltdown, the episode ends with Sally hopping out of the car and offering her dad a simple, "Happy Valentine's Day. I love you." Is there hope for their relationship after all? Don's shocked face says it all.
8. Worst Heart-to-Heart: In one of the most agonizingly raw scenes on The Blacklist to date, Liz confronts her beloved husband Tom, who is tied up in her kitchen, about being a secret agent planted in her life. Sadly, every word he utters — including memories of their early dates together — confirms that their whole lovey-dovey marriage had been a sham. Heartbroken, Liz snaps and breaks his thumb with a pair of pliers. Mere interrogation tactic or revenge for playing with her emotions? Either way, Liz still loses.
7. Worst Horseplay: Hannibal has served up a number of stomach-turning moments this season (we still can't un-see that guy ripping himself out of the human mural!) but the latest episode proves the show isn't horsing around. The episode's case-of-the week climaxes with our killer clawing his way out a dead horse's womb, where he'd been sewn in by one of his victims. As always, it be-hooves you to not eat while watching this show.
6. Best Gangsta: The only thing that makes Brian Williams "rapping" "Gin and Juice" better? His follow-up interview with Jimmy Fallon. The anchor by night, rapper by late night hilariously takes the Tonight Show host to task for his rap mash-ups that has "Twitter be goin' crazy" and begs to be let in on future collaborations. "What about some early pre-hearing loss Foxy Brown?" he deadpans. "Any Luda would be great. I'll do 'Roll Out.' 'Who's your weed man? / How do you smoke so good?'" Not content to rib just Fallon, Williams also voices reservations about Lester Holt "because of his flow". B Dubs, you're such a G.
5. Best Reveal: On Grey's Anatomy, the fight between newlyweds Jackson and April continues over how they want to raise their future children when it comes to faith. Although the discussion started as simply a hypothetical topic, things get serious in the final moments of the episode when April tells him that she is actually pregnant. There must be something in the water over at GSM!
4. Best Surprise Ending: Just a few episodes after revealing that Leslie is pregnant (with triplets!), Parks and Recreation really throws fans for a loop in the final moments of the Season 6 finale. After Leslie agrees to take a new job with the National Parks Department, the show flash-forwards three years. Suddenly, Leslie is a mom to three adorable children, Ben is in a tux for some reason, Larry (formerly known as Jerry) is now being called Terry, and Jon Hamm even pops up as an incompetent employee Leslie must fire. Oh, and did we mention Leslie has bangs?! Just please tell us that "Treat Yo' Self" has stood the test of time!
3. Worst Reveal: Lindsay Lohan's inert, baggage-heavy reality series gets a big ol' jolt in the closing minutes when the troubled starlet drops a major bombshell: she had suffered a miscarriage during the two weeks she was a no-show filming the series. "It's a very long story. I was sick, and mentally that messes with you," she confesses. "Watching this series, I just know how I felt at that moment, and I can relate to that girl, which sounds kinda crazy. But I'm like, 'Oh my God, this is really sad, who is helping her?'" It's a tragic revelation, but we can't help but wonder if it's true. (And if it is, who's the baby daddy?) Or is Lindsay making it up to play the martyr? Who knows? But we can all agree that LiLo probably would not make the best mom right now.
2. Worst Make-Up Sex: Game of Thrones one-ups itself in the disturbing department when quarreling twins Jaime and Cersei Lannister have a decidedly unsexy interlude in the wake of their son Joffrey's murder. The heightened atmosphere of grief, anger and frustration are too much for Jaime, and he forces a protesting Cersei to succumb to his carnal desires right there by the corpse of their incest-conceived son. "It's not right," she cries, along with Thrones fans everywhere.
1. Worst Dare: Kenya Moore and Porsha Williams have never, ever gotten along on the Real Housewives of Atlanta, but their feud reaches new highs — and new lows (literally) — on the first part of the reunion show. It starts innocently enough, when Kenya accuses Porsha of cheating on her now-ex-husband and then yells at her through a megaphone, as one does. But when Kenya dares the irate Porsha to hit her, what's a girl to do but yank Kenya down to the ground by her hair? In the end, Kenya threatens to leave the show altogether, and Porsha is carried out of the reunion. Kind of makes us miss the good ol' days when the Real Housewives of Atlanta would just lightly tug at each other's weaves, right?
What were your top moments?