Our top moments of the week:
14. Saddest Confession: On The Real Housewives of Orange County, Vicki tears up and tells Tamra that she and her husband Donn are having "major issues" and that she's been praying every night for them to come together. She explains that they only talk to each other a few times a month and haven't had sex in almost two years, but feels conflicted because God hates divorce. Of all the marriages that have fallen victim to the Real Housewives franchise (and there have been a lot), this is one we wish hadn't.
13. Best-Laid Plans: After Mitchell trespasses with Claire and Cam doles out dating advice to Manny on Modern Family, the two have the same thought on their minds by the time Jay's birthday fishing party rolls around. "Cam, I want to have another baby," Mitchell says. "What do you think about a boy this time?" Cam responds. Let's hope they welcome him the same way.
12. Worst Act of Justice: When Stan and Mitch find out that Bennet, the police's No. 1 suspect in their daughter's death, has not yet been arrested on The Killing, Stan takes matters into his own hands. However, just as Stan and an associate are beating Bennet to a bloody pulp, the detectives piece together that he and Muhammed were helping another girl out — not Rosie — and Mitch finds a T-shirt of Rosie's in her room that the detectives thought was in Muhammed and Bennet's possession.
11. Most Disappointing Reveal: What is the event of The Event? Something incredibly vague. On the series finale of The Event, Simon tells Sean that his alien species once inhabited Earth, but had to leave because any more time spent here would have caused them to evolve into "something greater" — aka "the event" — something that humans apparently wouldn't be able to survive. "Why not?" Sean asks. "What happens?" You get canceled, duh! No, but Simon actually doesn't know. Really.
10. Best Act of Justice: After the key witness in the case against Alderman Gibbons is murdered on The Chicago Code, it looks like Superintendent Teresa Colvin and Officer Jarek Wysocki are out of luck. But thanks to new evidence, the grand jury indicts Gibbons on more than 30 charges, and Teresa and Jarek get the last laugh — arresting Gibbons in front of the media at a meeting about her resignation. In handcuffs, Gibbons threatens Teresa that her days are numbered, to which she responds, "Whatever the number, it's more than yours." We just wish the days weren't numbered for this show.
9. Worst Time Management: Chelsea Kane and Mark Ballas come up short on Dancing with the Stars, placing third, but they also get the short shrift after Tom Bergeron announces their boot. Instead of letting Kane say some final remarks, Bergeron cuts to the point: "I wish we had time ... but we don't." Guys, if you're going to have a two-hour show, you can at least carve out a minute for one of your finalists to say goodbye. Or take a page out of Idol's book and go seven minutes past the hour.
8. Dreams Do Come True Award: A month after Community's Abed told Jeff about being an extra on Cougar Town, the ABC sitcom makes his story a reality by showing Danny Pudi (very obviously in character as Abed) in the background of a scene between Travis and Laurie. Unlike any other extra, Abed begins looking directly at the two — and the camera -- during a big heart-to-heart and soon starts mimicking Laurie's animated hand gestures before he awkwardly (and loudly) runs out of the scene. At least he didn't bring his paintball gun.
7. Worst Sour Grapes: Still bitter that Richard Hatch "bullied" him and called him — among other things — "delicate" and a "little man" on Celebrity Apprentice, David Cassidy has no sympathy for the absent Hatch (who's back in prison for tax evasion) on the live finale. "I think he's actually in the right place at the right time," Cassidy says. "I honestly think that when you take the low road, where else would you end up but on a cold slab somewhere? And quite frankly, I ... thought it was a vindication." That's not very big of you, David.
6. Best PDA: After trying to woo Rachel with a date at Sardi's and a serenade on Glee, Finn finally wins her over with a passionate kiss. Too bad it comes at the end of their first performance at Nationals in front of the judges and thousands of attendees. "The kiss of the century," as Finn calls it, turns off the judges and costs New Directions a place in the top 10. But, more importantly, it brings these two back together (hopefully for good). Patti LuPone would approve.
5. Worst First Impression: We understand it's a bit nerve-wracking to compete against 24 other men on The Bachelorette, but there's no need to overdo it on liquid courage. A visibly inebriated Tim — who's a liquor distributor, natch — is unable to string together a complete sentence when he meets Ashley. Ashley finds him passed out and snoring by the end of the night, leaving her no choice but to have him removed before the very first rose ceremony. "Tim is definitely drunk, and I feel bad for the guy," she says. "I can identify with wasted opportunity," she adds, without a hint of irony.
4. Best Crowning Moment, Part I: We knew that the Dothraki were a hearty people, but we didn't realize that they must also have lead stomach linings. Just how hot was that soup pot anyway that, once emptied, it could be used to melt down gold? Khal Drogo's decision to kill his wife's brother on Game of Thrones-- the snotty Viserys, who was begging for it -- showed the Dothraki warlord in a whole new light. Not only did we see his rather sadistic side, but also got a glimpse at his fashion creativity: Take an ugly '80s-style belt, add heat, and voila -- death crown!
3. Best Crowning Moment, Part II: After 122 million votes, Scotty McCreery is named the winner of American Idol. He tries to perform his new single, "I Love You This Big," but is quickly overcome by emotion as he hugs the finalists and says "I love yous" to James Durbin, Casey Abrams and Lauren Alaina. He ends the song sitting on the edge of the stage, covered in confetti with his head buried in his hands. Despite all his swagger and confidence, even Scotty the Body can get caught up in the moment.
2. Sweetest Swan Song: Oprah Winfrey's final show is a tribute to her adoring fans. "Is ending the show bittersweet?" she asks. "I see all sweet. No bitter. And here's why. Many of us have been together for 25 years. We have hooted and hollered together, we had our 'a-ha' moments, we ugly-cried together and we did our gratitude journals," she says. "So I thank you all for your support and your trust in me. I thank you for being as much of a sweet inspiration for me as I've tried to be for you. I won't say goodbye; I'll just say, 'Until we meet again.' To God be the glory." She stopped briefly on her way out of the studio to kiss her longtime partner Stedman Graham, and with the final image of the TV legend with her arms outstretched, The Oprah Winfrey Show said goodbye... until we meet Winfrey again, on OWN.
1. Crash Into Me Award: It's never easy seeing your ex with a potential new significant other. So when House spots Cuddy hosting a dinner party with a new guy on the show's seventh season finale, he does the only sensible thing (in his mind): He drives his car into the side of her house in a jealous rage. The guests are unscathed — save for a slightly injured Wilson outside — as a livid Cuddy makes it clear to the cops she will press charges. "If Greg House steps foot in my hospital again, comes anywhere near me, I want him thrown in jail," she says, setting up a convenient exit point for Lisa Edelstein, who chose to leave the series after the finale was filmed. Meanwhile, the fugitive doc has managed to evade the police and is on a tropical beach stroll far away from Princeton-Plainsboro, which frankly is more shocking to us than the crash since, you know, he's not exactly the quickest walker.
What were your top moments?