Our top moments of the week:
12. Best Timing: Everyone on Playing House knows that Mark once proposed to Emma, well except Mark's now wife Tina. So once an epic fight between Tina and Emma starts up, Maggie tries her best to squash it by saying that everyone has hooked up with Mark at one point or another, including her! Emma is horrified to find out her BFF broke the sacred girl code and kissed her ex, but just as Emma starts to turn on Maggie, Maggie's water breaks and she has to go to the hospital ASAP. Saved by the baby!
11. Worst Disappearing Act: On Graceland, Mike returns to Southern California to help Briggs catch a drug cartel that has a pricey hit on Mike's head. However, when Briggs goes undercover and tells the cartel he has the man they want, they tell him to meet them at a location that turns out to also be hosting a dog fight. Just as the cops swoop in to shut down the dog fight, Mike suddenly disappears in the commotion, and Briggs soon realizes it was a setup for the cartel to capture Mike. That's one way to say "welcome back."
10. Best Cliff-Hanger: After Jasper supposedly saves the day on The 100 finale by frying all the Grounders (and possibly Finn and Bellamy), the survivors exit the drop ship, only to be accosted by the Mountain Men. Next thing Clarke knows, she's locked in a sterile white room, hooked up to an IV and being monitored by security cameras in the Mount Weather Quarantine Ward. But on the plus side, we found Monty!
9. Best Reveal: Suits adds one big wrinkle to Harvey and Mike's "knife fight" in their takeover battle for a DVD distribution company. When Mike tells Rachel that he's not backing down, she drops a bombshell: Logan Sanders (Brendan Hines), Harvey's other client in the bidding war, was the married man with whom she had an affair that she mentioned last season. This should turn out well.
8. Best Tribute: When the entire Rear D unit learns that Fort McGee is not going to be inspected by an important general on Enlisted, all rules and regulations immediately fall by the wayside and the unit tries to get the special snacks bought specifically for the general. However, Randy believes the general is still coming and refuses to let them access the food upstairs. The resulting standoff turns into a larger-than-life version of Donkey Kong, with Randy throwing barrels to knock everyone over before he starts moving, and sounding, like the famous ape himself. Hey, at least he didn't throw any fireballs!
7. Worst Roundabout: While we couldn't wait for Orange is the New Black to return — spoiler alert! — after the Season 2 finale, we're no longer on the edge of our seats. The all-too-happy coincidence of Miss Rosa running down Vee seems a little too tidy for a series that so wholeheartedly embraces the messiness of life. Plus, with Vee dead, Taystee and Poussey making up, and Alex heading back to Litchfield, aren't we exactly where we started the season? What was the point, because it better not have been this.
6. Worst Karma: During Game of Thrones' epic battle at Castle Black, the wildling Ygritte finally catches sight of Jon Snow and nocks an arrow that's aimed straight at her lying, betraying ex. Distracted by her residual feelings for him (or perhaps his sexy, flowing locks), she hesitates and is in turn shot fatally by Olly, the young kid whose dad she had killed earlier. Valar morghulis! All men must die.
5. Best Double: Mere minutes into Saturday's episode, Orphan Black introduces us to the newest member of The Clone Club... and it's a he! Yup, Tatiana Maslany transforms herself into Tony, a trash-talking transgendered clone, complete with a deep, low voice, aggressive strut (is there anything Maslany can't do?) and Apolo Ohno-like facial hair. As Felix says, "Holy Tilda Swinton!"
4. Best (and Worst) Thinking on Your Feet: After Fargo's Lester Nygaard witnesses Lorne Malvo murder three people in Vegas on the FX drama's penultimate episode, Lester quickly realizes he's next on the hitman's hit list. After returning to Bemidji and planning a quick trip to Acapulco with his clueless-to-the-danger wife, Lester's plan hits a snag: He needs their passports. So, Lester swings by his office and, fearing Malvo may be lying in wait, sends his wife inside — but not before insisting she wears Lester's parka. (Hood up!) Malvo quickly shoots the person he believes to be Lester as Lester watches on from the car. We applaud the ingenuity, but Lester has clearly become the monster in this story.
3. Best Celebration: It happened. Veep forsakes its name and makes Selina POTUS — and her reaction is the greatest thing ever. After Kent tells her that the president is stepping down to care for FLOTUS, a stunned Selina heads to the bathroom, where she is soon joined by Gary, and the two proceed to lose their sh--. Like total maniacal hysteria, complete with a bit of a role reversal as Selina rummages through Gary's bag to stop his nosebleed. The best part? You can totally tell that Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Tony Hale are laughing for real. Hail to the f---ing chief!
2. Best PSA: On Jimmy Kimmel Live when the host reveals that "me and my wife are pregnant" to guest Mila Kunis, who actually is pregnant, she takes umbrage with his word choice and launches into a "very special message" for fathers-to-be like Kimmel. "Stop saying we're pregnant. You're not pregnant," she says and continues to list the pregnancy symptoms men don't have endure, such as the mood swings and throwing up. She also points out that men can still consume alcohol, which moms-to-be can't have because there's a little "love goblin," as Kunis calls it, growing inside of them. A group of pregnant moms eating straight out of ice cream cartons join her on stage in a show of solidarity. Apparently, love goblins need the calcium!
1. Best Sugar Daddy: Neil Patrick Harris sure can work a sexy pair of stilettos! At the Tony Awards, the actor goes all out while performing "Sugar Daddy" in his full Hedwig and the Angry Inch transgendered persona, sporting cut-off denim, a blonde wig, twinkle lights skirt and enough glitter to make Mariah proud. And like any good boy who wants to continue getting treats, he makes sure to, um, look after the various sugar daddies in the audience, giving a car wash to Orlando Bloom, a lap dance to Sting, fainting in Kevin Bacon's lap, licking Samuel L. Jackson's glasses and planting a big, fat wet one on his fiancé. Barney Stinson would be proud.
What were your top moments?