Our top moments of the week:
13. Best Second-Place Finish: While donating baby goods to the local children's orphanage, Bryan and David quickly fall in love with a baby girl named Nikki on The New Normal. Although their own baby is less than two months from being born, the couple decides they want to foster Nikki anyway. But when they go back to get the paperwork started, they are heartbroken to learn that someone else has adopted her — Bryan's assistant, Rocky, who then reveals she's been hiding her desire to start a family to protect her job. It's nice to see the nice guys finish first, for once.
12. Most Expected Twist: Hotch & Co. think they've collared The Replicator on Criminal Minds when they arrest Donnie Bidwell (guest star Scott Grimes), who admits to exsanguinating his victims. But he's mystified when they accuse of him of duplicating the kills of their other closed cases and asks for his one phone call. It turns out that he's been working with The Replicator — well, not so much "working" as being used as a pawn by The Replicator — who has planted evidence in Donnie's house to frame him and is still on the loose.
11. Worst Surprise (at a) Party: Schmidt decides to throw a bash to celebrate his 10-year anniversary with Nick on New Girl. But in a surprising turn of events, Shivrang, CeCe's boyfriend-of-a-hot-minute, decides to propose to her at the party as a heartbroken Schmidt looks on. It's OK though, because now he and Nick can totally be together forever! But, oh wait, Nick just kissed Jess... well, he'll always have Winston?
10. Most Anticlimactic Ending: If it ain't broke, don't fix it, Top Chef. Eschewing the usual five-course, dream restaurant meal, the Season 10 finale pits Kristen and Brooke in an Iron Chef-style, best-of-five courses face-off. Not only do the hectic pace and format rob us of seeing their creative processes and actual cooking, but when Kristen has a 2-1 lead and the fourth course still hasn't been served with only 15 minutes left in the episode, it's pretty obvious that Kristen was going to win. Why not have them serve all five courses before voting? If we can look at the clock to figure out who's going to win, that's not exciting TV, Magical Elves. Nice try with the change, but it's time for this format to pack its knives and go.
9. Worst Father-Son Bonding: After being stabbed in the heart with scissors by a fellow inmate on Justified, crusty old crook Arlo Givens has one last chance to tell his son Raylan the identity of Drew Thompson, the fugitive Raylan (and at this point, half of Harlan County) is looking for. As Arlo circles the drain, Raylan asks him for one favor after a life of mutual acrimony. Arlo finally asks Raylan to come closer, and when he does, Arlo croaks out, "Kiss... my... ass." Raylan downplays the effect of his father's eventual off-screen death with his co-workers, but that final shot of him in the elevator shows that even cowboy lawmen have feelings.
8. Sexiest Act of Solace Award: When Nashville's Gunnar goes missing for more than 24 hours without so much as a text, Scarlett is overcome with panic and fear. But her anger fades away the minute he comes home and tells her his convict brother was beaten to death in an alley. Since Gunnar had kicked his brother to the curb just days prior, he's overcome with sorrow and guilt. Scarlett does her best to cheer him up — by leaning in for a passionate kiss that slowly evolves into much more kissing and eventual undressing. That's one hell of a wake!
7. Best Father-Son Bonding: Shortly after Castle's titular hero learns that his father is indeed a super-spy — and that Alexis' kidnapping was all a ploy to draw Secret Agent Man out of hiding — Castle learns that even though he never knew his dad, he has been a presence in his life. In fact, he once ran into a 10-year-old Ricky at the New York Public Library and gave him a copy of Casino Royale, the book that inspired Castle to become a writer. The bonding moment has even more emotional payoff when, after Castle and Alexis return home from Paris unsure if Spy Daddy survived, Castle receives a package with the very same classic James Bond novel inside. How double-0-special!
6. Life Imitates Art? Award: Law & Order: SVU's Chris Brown-Rihanna assault case-inspired episode is ripped from the headlines indeed. Pop star Mischa gets assaulted by her boyfriend, hip-hop star Caleb Bryant, after which he apologizes in a bowtie, gets a hip tattoo of her battered face, and she asks for the restraining order to be removed. Oh, and they reconcile. Sound familiar? But Caleb and Mischa's story has a much darker ending: They jet off to Bermuda (it's practically Barbados!), where Mischa's body is found after she asks about a text Caleb receives. Subtle, SVU.
5. Best New Feud: Morrissey abruptly cancels an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live! Tuesday when he learns that the cast of Duck Dynasty is also scheduled to appear. A vegan and staunch animal-rights activist, Morrissey couldn't "morally" be on the same program as a group of people who "amount to animal serial killers." But to hear Kimmel tell it, he couldn't just dump the Duck Dynasty cast for Morrissey — "because they have guns" — and because the Duck dudes are nice guys who also have a "vegan" product: Carrot Call. "Those little suckers leap right out of the dirt and right into your mouth" when you use one, per the ad. We good, Morrissey?
4. Most Unexpected Twist: First Diggle, then Felicity and now Tommy? At this rate, all of Starling City is going to know Oliver's secret! But his reveal isn't the most shocking twist on Arrow. Laurel's estranged mother shows up at her door with some very unexpected news: Sarah's alive! Could this be the event that sets Laurel on the path to becoming the Black Canary? We can't wait to find out!
3. Biggest Failure: Here's another reason why Andrea should've died already on The Walking Dead: Her reunion with those at the prison is pretty rough. (She is sleeping with the enemy, after all). Encouraged by Carol to end this war, Andrea gets a perfect opportunity to slit The Governor's throat in his sleep, but she opts not to instead. Seriously?! You had one job, Andrea! (And yes, that's also what we plan to write on her tombstone.)
2. Most Awesome Meet-Cute: No one owns an impromptu moment quite like Jennifer Lawrence. When Jack Nicholson, who sneaks up from behind, crashes the Oscar winner's interview with Good Morning America's George Stephanopoulos, Lawrence yelps in adorable shock and horror. While we would've been at a loss for words, the Silver Linings Playbook star is quick on her feet after the legendary lothario tells her that she looks like an old girlfriend of his. Which leads us to this glorious exchange. "Oh, really? Do I look like a new girlfriend?" she asks. "I thought about it," he says, before pretending to walk away. "Is he still here?" "I'll be waiting." Classic.
1. Wildest Performance: Not since Lily's entrance on Modern Family to "Circle of Life" have we been rendered speechless — for entirely different reasons. Zoanette, whose family escaped from Liberia, performs the famous Lion King theme on American Idol and goes full lioness for the occasion. There's a passionate Zulu intro, a veritable mane of hair and a leopard-print outfit. (Isn't that, like, clashing felines?) Nevertheless, it's not the total hot mess that it sounds like. Nicki Minaj likes it. "That song is such a smart choice," she says. Since when?
What were your top moments?