Our top moments of the week:
15. Best Test Run: When Teddy starts to lose faith in relationships on 90210, Silver has just the solution: a shotgun wedding! Hitch: There's no marriage license and same-sex marriage isn't legal in Nevada, but Teddy and his new boyfriend exchange vows in front of an Elvis impersonator all the same, and Teddy reaffirms his faith in the power of love. Here's hoping what happens in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas.
14. Most Painful Misunderstanding: When Jimmy learns that he has a ruthless 13-year-old competitor for Sabrina's affections on Raising Hope, he does what any guy would do: He tries to set up the boy with a girl his own age. But when Jimmy tries to approach the young girl, her dad (Richard Dean Anderson aka MacGyver) overhears and misunderstands Jimmy's plan — and punches the twentysomething for hitting on his prepubescent daughter. Next time, a note might work better.
13. Best Non-Zombie Action: The world may be overrun with people who eat other people, but damn it, men and women still have needs. So on The Walking Dead, Glenn gets laid! How fortunate for him that Hershel's buxom, no-nonsense daughter Maggie is a lonely woman of action. (This is no doubt his handsome reward for having nearly been fed to the bloated zombie in the well moments prior.)
12. Most Clueless Racer: On The Amazing Race, Jennifer accidentally leaves the clue instructions with her brother Justin while she performs the fish-delivering Roadblock. But instead of doing the logical thing and biking back to the start to read the clue (where she was supposed to go after the delivery anyway), she inexplicably stays in the Malawian village for over an hour, hoping to see another team. She doesn't, and they later get eliminated. If the No. 1 rule of the show is to always read your clue, then the second one is to always be moving. This is The Amazing Race, not The Amazing Standing Still Competition, Jennifer.
11. Best Flip-Flopper: When the vote at The X Factor judges table comes down to Paula Abdul's two remaining acts, she tells Steve Jones that she just can't choose between Lakoda Rayne and The Stereo Hogzz and refuses to vote. But she quickly changes her tune once a little birdie (read: producer) whispers in Steve's ear that without Paula's vote, The Stereo Hogzz will be sent home. With a big tissue in her hand and tears in her eyes, she reluctantly votes for The Stereo Hogzz in hopes of a tie, only to see Simon send them home. This reality TV moment brought to you by ... math.
10. Best Runner-Up Prize: Finn questions his future when he fails to impress the Ohio State football recruiter on Glee. He suddenly realizes he's not good enough to follow his sports or singing aspirations. To console her down-in-the-dumps boyfriend — and to show her love for him — Rachel gives Finn something no one else will ever have: her virginity. Now who is going to be the one to tell Finn you can't major in that in college? (Not officially anyway.)
9. Best Step in the Right Direction: After foiling Damon and Elena's plan to kill Klaus on The Vampire Diaries, Stefan proves his loyalties still lay with his brother. In the final scene, Klaus thinks he's about to reunite his family members only to find their caskets gone. Stefan, who's on the phone with him says, "As someone who's been one step ahead for 1,000 years, were you prepared for this?" Is the Stefan we've been missing finally back and ready to fight?
8. He Sees More Dead People Award: After Dex drowns Nick to avenge Brother Sam's death on Dexter, he turns around and sees the second biggest shock of his life: the spirit of his late brother Brian, aka The Ice Truck Killer. We'll have to wait until next week to see what brings him back, but something tells us he'll be the devil to Harry's angel on Dexter's shoulders.
7. Worst-Kept Secret: Up until now, Will and Alicia have been pretty good about keeping their romance a secret on The Good Wife — that is, until Diane calls Will on his "lunch break" and hears Alicia's signature ringtone from her daughter ("Mom, pick up the phone. Mom, pick up the phone.") in the background. Mom, learn how to put your phone on silent when you're sleeping with the boss!
6. Best Make-Out: After recounting the gang's ordeal during Hurricane Irene on How I Met Your Mother for Kevin, Robin thanks Barney in the cab for leaving out one little detail: They nearly kissed in the rain before an ill-timed phone call from her dad interrupted it. "Disaster averted," Robin says, since Barney reunited with Nora and she started dating Kevin after that. But not this time! After feigning French kisses in each other's faces, they go in for the real thing as if they're both totally single. (And it's totally hot.)
5. Best Goodbye: To protect her mother — and her mother's happiness with boyfriend Mark — Amber asks her newly sober dad to leave town on Parenthood. He complies with her wishes, but not before leaving her one heck of a goodbye present: greeting cards for every birthday he missed while he was addicted to drugs and alcohol. Maybe it's a good thing Hallmark doesn't make "Sorry, I wasn't around for the last 18 years" cards because this was much more touching.
4. Sex, Lies and (No More) Videotape Award: Convinced that Brody gave Hamid the razor with which he used to commit suicide, Homeland's Carrie suggests a polygraph test to set the record straight. But the night before, Brody calls Carrie to meet him at a bar, where, after downing many bourbons, she reveals the "classified" reason for the polygraph... and they top it off by knocking boots in the back of her car. Thinking she's got her guy, Carrie is shocked when Brody aces the razor question the next day, so she forces the expert to ask Brody if he's been faithful to his wife. "Yes," he answers calmly. No spike on the meter. Two can play this game, Carrie.
3. Oops, He Did It Again Award: It's not a good week to be a GOP presidential candidate. While Herman Cain fields four separate allegations of sexual harassment, Gov. Rick Perry dooms his campaign with his worst gaffe yet at Wednesday's debate. He fails to name the three government agencies he wants to eliminate. "It's three agencies of government when I get there that are gone — Commerce, Education and the um, what's the third one there? Let's see. Oh five — Commerce, Education and the um, um..." he trails off. "Seriously?" moderator John Harwood incredulously asked. "But you can't name the third one?" "The third agency of government I would do away with — the education, the uh, the commerce and let's see. I can't — the third one. I can't. Sorry. Oops," Perry says. And you thought Bushisms were bad.
2. Second Most Winning Impersonation: The ghost of Charlie Sheen/Harper haunts Two and a Half Men after Walden donates Charlie's piano, sending Alan into a deep depression that manifests itself as an extended impersonation of his late hedonistic bro. (Hey, we all cope in different ways.) There are the requisite bowling shirt, liquor and cigars, but nothing truly says Charlie better than when Alan, after calling for Asian hookers while institutionalized, utters: "Winning!" Still, it doesn't beat Jimmy Fallon's impression.
1. Worst Show of Cockiness: With the identity of her patient concealed, Cristina decides to time herself during a high-tech surgery on Grey's Anatomy. The "patient" was most likely doomed from the start, but after Cristina calls time of death, Owen reveals to her that the man on the table was Henry, Teddy's husband. We've seen Cristina break down before, but it's never been as heartbreaking as when we witness her silent emotional collapse from behind a pane of glass.
What were your top moments?