Our top moments of the week:
14. Best Non-Reunion: We were all, "I don't want to wait!" when we heard about the Dawson's Creek reunion planned for Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23. And while we were Sad Dawsons not to see James Van Der Beek, Michelle Williams, Joshua Jackson and Katie Holmes together again, we were pleased with Busy Philipps' hilarious cameo and an appearance by Zack Morris himself (Mark-Paul Gosselaar), who offers James a few words of wisdom from his book Ta-Da! Finding the Now about not letting an iconic role define him and purging the past. In this case, that means detonating a Creek-style rowboat in a pond in Central Park (ignited by June's heinous autumnal sweaters, of course). Something tells us we haven't heard the last of a Creek reunion on Apt 23 though...
13. Worst Surprise Appearance: On the season finale of Switched at Birth, Angelo and the Kennishes win their series-long battle against the hospital. But as Bay and Daphne sit alone in an empty courtroom talking about how much their lives have changed, in walks a very pregnant woman looking for Angelo. Looks like a new person — and baby — is about to thicken the plot. Let's at least hope Angelo and said pregnant friend know to use a different hospital this time.
12. Best (Worst?) Aim: After a group of trouble-making teenagers get Gloria all fired up on Modern Family, she starts worrying that her hormonal pregnant state has made her too much of a hothead. Jay calms her down by telling her that her fiery disposition makes her a great mom. So, when Gloria spots the teenagers again on Halloween, she runs them down and pelts them with eggs. Punch line: We later learn that one of those teens is Manny, whose first night out with the cool kids took an unexpected turn.
11. Most Surprising Cover-Up: Pure she ain't! This week's episode of American Horror Story reveals that Sister Jude wasn't always a paragon of virtue. In fact, she used to be a lounge singer — and the town bicycle! Even worse, one night while driving home drunk, she hit a little girl with her car and drove off. How many Hail Marys is that?
10. Biggest Threat: Just when it looks like Eli has successfully quashed a story about Peter's alleged affair with a campaign worker on The Good Wife, his dreams of moving past the scandal quickly cave in when he receives a phone call from a mysterious blogger named Jimmy V. He tells Eli that he knows that a magazine is sitting on a story about Peter's alleged indiscretion and that his blog plans to write about the story within the hour. All right, Kalinda, it's time to step away from the estranged husband and get to work!
9. Most Unexpected Hack Job: While helping the few surviving prisoners on The Walking Dead fend off the zombies, Rick finds himself dodging attacks from Tomas, who insists that taking a swipe at his head and shoving a walker in his path were mere accidents. Fighting off a zombie horde is just so chaotic, you know? Oh yes, Rick knows. To wit: In an unguarded moment, he takes his machete and plants the blade in Tomas' skull. Ricktatorship restored!
8. Most Devastating Cover-Up: After Kristina endures a long, painful lumpectomy on Parenthood, she and Adam are devastated to learn that she will still need to undergo chemotherapy. In a complicated twist, though, the two put on brave faces and flat-out lie to eldest daughter Haddie about the results so she'll return to college and not worry about her mom. It's hard to tell which is more heartbreaking: the look of relief and happiness on Haddie's face as she hugs her mom or the scared, unsure look on Kristina's face as she leans in to the embrace.
7. Worst Coming Out Party: You'd think by now that the Pretty Little Liars girls would know to lay low on Halloween. Nope! Instead, they hop on a train for the Rosewood Halloween party. It isn't long before Aria is drugged and wakes up — hands tied — stuck in a box on top of the moving train. When Spencer, Emily and Hanna finally help Aria escape, they also discover the dead body of Garrett, who it turns out was stuck inside with her.
6. Up in Smoke Award: What's in the
box suitcase? When Jane finds an old suitcase in the basement on 666 Park Avenue, she inexplicably brings it back to her apartment. It quietly takes up residence at the foot of her bed until the final seconds of the episode, when the Smoke Monster a cloud of black smoke seeps out and forms a creepy man. Does this mean we have to go baaaaack? Is there a Sideways universe to The Drake? Does Terry O'Quinn have a "must work with smoke-based apparitions" clause in his contract?
5. Freefalling Award, Part II: At Amanda's baby shower on Revenge, Emily instructs the expectant mom to confront Victoria with the visitors' log at Kara's mental institution and press for details about her mother. Victoria stomps out and tells Amanda, "Your mother tried to kill you," before yanking the log out of her hand. Just as she does, Amanda — who's in a way-too-tight dress to qualify as maternity wear — falls backwards over the balcony. She's in a coma, and her son is delivered and placed in the NICU. The real kicker? When Emily goes to see Amanda, she sees Kara at her bedside and has a flashback to when Kara tried to drown her as a child. So Victoria was telling the truth!
4. Best Surprise Appearance: Just when it looks like long-distance lovers Leslie and Ben are finally going to get their happy ending and move in together on Parks and Recreation, Ben gets the chance to run a gubernatorial campaign... in Florida. Leslie returns to the house they were supposed to rent together to say goodbye when she turns around and finds Ben, just in from D.C., standing and then kneeling down. "I'm thinking about my future," he says as he pops out the engagement ring and Leslie — after a hilariously long pause — answers with a resounding yes. First things first, does anyone know if J.J.'s Diner caters weddings?
3. Best Tease: On Happy Endings, Jane calls her husband Brad, who she thinks is unemployed, and suggests they have a nooner. Brad, who's been secretly working, has to rush home and get in that bubble bath he said he was taking so they can "play Loch Ness Monster." With no time to disrobe, Brad jumps under the bubbles in his suit and still carrying his briefcase. His wife, who enters the bathroom comically naked and pixilated, soon discovers his ruse. Sorry, Brad, no Nessie sighting for you.
2. Best (Worst?) Reunion: Now that Homeland's Carrie knows the truth about Brody, the show finally has an excuse to put them in a room together. And before you can say "Abu Nazir," the pair falls effortlessly into their crazy-sexy-paranoid chemistry. Hoping to put Brody on his heels, Carrie meets him at a hotel bar and drops some hints about the CIA's investigation. But when Brody asks about Carrie's electroshock therapy, she lets down her guard and, worse, begins to worry that he knows that she's working him. So, despite the risk of blowing the operation, she storms into his room, calls him out on his lies and has him arrested. "I liked you," Brody says as Carrie protests, "I loved you!" Homeland certainly isn't resting on its laurels. In fact, it's not resting at all.
1. Freefalling Award, Part I: After Gilles Marini and Peta Murgatroyd perform their ultra-leggy rumba on Dancing with the Stars, Carrie Ann Inaba declares, "Let the baby-making begin!" And since she's basically like this, the former Fly Girl falls off her chair and straight on to her back. Marini comes to her rescue, but the best part is how fellow judges Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli just laugh and don't even bother helping her up. Still no word if any baby-making occurred.
What were your top moments?