Our top moments of the week:
14. Deadliest Temper Tantrum: On The Originals, Klaus tries to rectify the fact that he turned over his daggered brother to his current foe. After a drawn-out plan that costs quite a few lives, Klaus leads Marcel to believe he saved him and, in turn, would return his brother. But in the final scene, Marcel's bratty little mini-witch throws a hissy fit and refuses to give back Elijah before learning how to kill an Original. Klaus better steer clear of Rebekah when she finds out their brother is still gone.
13. Most Mysterious Transformation: On Tuesday's Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., viewers get yet another hint as to who or what Agent Coulson is after his death in The Avengers. Coulson and the team help save his former protégé, who is surprised by how different he is from when she knew him. "But what did they do to him?" she questions Melinda May. Seriously, we're asking the same question.
12. Welcome Back, pt. 1: She's baaaack! Sons of Anarchy gives viewers a breather this week in an episode that brings Venus Van Dam, the transsexual escort played by The Shield and Justified alum Walton Goggins, back into SAMCRO's orbit. In this case, Venus, after being roughed up by someone, turns to Nero for help, but when she learns that he's locked up, she reveals to Gemma how Nero became her "guardian angel" when he took her in many years ago. It certainly isn't as flashy a scene as Venus' last appearance, but it deepens the character for what is sure to be a more substantial story line in the next episode.
11. Worst Frequent Fliers: Amazing Race eliminations usually take place at the Pit Stop or, at worse, on the race course ... until Chester and Ephraim came along. The former Houston Texan players become the first team ever to be eliminated inside an airport after their poor flight choice, a series of delays and four flights put them almost 23 hours behind. At least it'd be easy to book a ticket home.
10. Best Frequent Flier: Following her bad breakup from Casey, Mindy would love nothing more than to sit next to a cute guy on her flight on The Mindy Project. Instead, she ends up sitting next to writer-director Kevin Smith, who happily mocks the 2010 incident in which he was kicked off a plane for being too big, while also trying to call Mindy not skinny. "I'm a petite Asian woman," she tells him sternly. "So am I," he replies before a cute culture writer (Mad Men's Ben Feldman) claims the seat next to Mindy as his own. Better luck next time, Silent Bob!
9. Best Happy Ending: Rigsby and Van Pelt are on again for good! The Mentalist couple finally ties the knot after she accepts Rigsby's impromptu proposal meant to distract the killer at a separate wedding. The hastily organized nuptials, officiated by the Justice of the Peace, are intimate, sweet, simple (well, except for the 21-gun salute) — and absolutely perfect in Van Pelt's eyes. "Sorry it's not the fairy tale you dreamed of," Rigsby says. "I'll take the real thing any day," she replies. Mazel tov!
8. Most Progressive Fairy Tale: You may not have noticed — what with Robin Hood being revealed to be the apparent true love of Regina — but Once Upon a Time might have just introduced its first LGBT story line Sunday when Mulan sets out to tell Aurora her true feelings. Sure, she misses her chance once that Aurora reveals that she is pregnant, but there is a very real possibility that we will see an interracial, lesbian relationship on OUAT this season! It all makes so much sense now!
7. Biggest Kids: Tom Hanks still wishes he were big — and so does Sandra Bullock apparently. While appearing on The Jonathan Ross Show, the pair gamely re-creates Hanks' famous "Chopsticks" piano dance from Big. Hanks hasn't lost a step 25 years later, but we daresay Bullock gives him a run for his money tickling the oversized ivories in sky-high stilettos and short shorts. But hey, if we had those legs, we'd do it too.
6. Most Bewitching Music Lesson: After getting burned at the stake on last week's season premiere of American Horror Story: Coven, hippie witch Misty Day gets burned on a much more personal level when young Zoe Benson asks her who sings the classic Fleetwood Mac song "Rhiannon." Stevie Nicks, of course! "Stevie Nicks from American Idol?" Zoe asks.The witches on this show aren't nearly as scary as this small-but-significant piece of misidentification. Someone brew this girl up a copy of Rumours, stat!
5. Biggest Bait-and-Switch: On the 100th episode of NCIS: Los Angeles, Callen finally comes face-to-face with his father — or does he? Throughout the entire episode, Callen believes that his father is a man named Michael Reinhardt who has been kidnapped by the vengeful Comescu family in an attempt to lure their true target — Callen himself — out of the woodwork. And he believes that Reinhardt is his father even as he watches him get fatally shot. But by the end of the episode, Callen learns that Reinhardt has been keeping tabs on Callen to repay a debt to Callen's real father. And before he makes the ultimate sacrifice, Reinhardt (whose real name is Hans Schreiber) gives Callen one final piece of information: his (real) father's name.
4. Best Flashback: Law & Order: SVU says goodbye to Munch in style with a wonderful retirement party — complete with an open bar — and a final scene that only pays respect to Munch's many years on the SVU squad, but his decades as a (TV) cop. Just as Munch finishes packing up his desk, he suddenly flashes-back to his days working for the Baltimore P.D. on Homicide: Life on the Street back in 1993. Just after Munch snaps back to 2013, the phone rings and he answers "homicide" before realizing his mistake and chuckling softly. It's nice (and rare!) to see a Law & Order cop get the last laugh, but if anyone deserves it, it's Munch.
3. Best Interspecies Mingling: Rebel Wilson gets into the Halloween spirit a little early when she stops by Conan dressed as a chicken. "Usually I dress sultry for talk shows, but today I thought I'd dress poultry," she quips. "I'm a hot chick." However, the feathers really fly when Wilson tells O'Brien that ABC censored her from making a joke about dolphin rape and then proceeds to re-enact what dolphin rape is... on Andy Richter, who gamely pretends to be an Asian tourist. Where's the dolphin SVU squad when you need them?
2. Welcome Back, pt. 2: Homeland's third season ends its Brody drought with an episode focused almost exclusively on America's Most Wanted Fugitive (and TV Character). After navigating his way through an underground escape network set up by Carrie, Brody winds up in Caracas after being shot in the stomach while crossing the border. Although a local crime lord sees to it that Brody gets patched up, he also makes it clear that Brody won't be leaving the slum known as the "Tower of David" any time soon. Despite several escape attempts, one of which gets a Muslim imam and his wife killed, Brody ends up back in captivity. Hopeless and (once again) trapped alone in a cement-block room, Brody turns to a heroin needle to ease his pain. Can you say bleak?
1. Most Exciting Performance: It's safe to say we've never been more excited for a Dancing with the Stars performance. Elizabeth Berkley finally gives the people what they want when she re-creates her iconic, caffeine pill-induced "I'm so excited! I'm so scared!" Saved by the Bell freak-out. But instead of NoDoz, she's now addicted to jive pills. "No, I need them, Val! I need them to jive," she wails to her partner Val Chmerkovskiy in the pre-dance skit. "I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so... ready!" Twist! So next week's the Showgirls homage, right?
What were your top moments?