Our top moments of the week:
8. Best Diss: When Phaedra and Kim whip out the claws about Phaedra's due date on Real Housewives of Atlanta, the new mother takes a nasty swipe at Kim's alleged nursing degree: "Honey, just because you strip out of a nurse's outfit does not make you a nurse, baby girl." Not exactly something we thought we'd hear from the mouth of a self-proclaimed Southern belle, but we'll take it.
7. Worst Second Act: Now with some extra time on his hands, Larry King drops by The Tonight Show with Jay Leno to chat about semi-retirement and debut, as Leno dubs it, his "bright young comedy styling" in a stand-up routine. "If you're watching to book me, I tell stories..." King says, before launching into two lengthy jokes, er, stories, even supplying his own "bada-bum" after one punchline. All we can say is: Don't quit your day job. Oh, wait...
6. Sweet 16 Award: After 16 years and two children together, Bret Michaels decides it's time to make an honest woman out of his girlfriend, Kristi Gibson, so he pops the question on the season finale of Bret Michaels: Life As I Know It. Her response? "Are you sure?" "I'm sure," he tells her. So, uh, what's going to happen to that Rock of Love bus?
5. Best Group Spirit: In the true spirit of the kindness and close camaraderie of The Sing-Off, host Nick Lachey is forced to pry new champs Committed away from hugging the members of runner-up Street Corner Symphony to give their final speech. Do we really have to pick a winner on this show next year?
4. Laziest Competitor: Hey Bravo, remind us why Jamie is a Top Chef All-Star again? After checking out of an Elimination Challenge to go to the hospital and get two stitches two weeks ago, Jamie skates by again in Week 4 when she refuses to serve her dish in a head-to-head face-off and conveniently avoids even being up for elimination by a quirk — or flaw? — in the challenge design. "This is a competition and at some point, you're going to have to start competing," departing cheftestant Spike tells her in his confessional. At this point, does she even remember how to cook (anything other than soup and scallops, of course)?
3. Biggest Head-Scratcher: After 39 days of playing dumb, Fabio is named the winner of Survivor: Nicaragua, beating out wishy-washy Chase by just a single vote. The crowd goes crazy for the surfer dude, until he tells Jeff Probst he wants to use his prize money to "undermine the government." We would be more worried if we thought he actually knew what he was talking about.
2. Worst Remix: Just like Hollywood, George Lopez gives us a sequel we never really asked for! Antoine Dodson shows up to do a Christmas riff on his viral hit "Bed Intruder" song called "Chimney Intruder" on Lopez Tonight. Between the cheesy lyrics, low-budget graphics and Dodson's terrible wig, we're hoping he was paid handsomely. Besides, who wants Santa Claus to stay away on Christmas?
1. Best Christmas Spirit: And they say basic cable doesn't pay. Conan O'Brien didn't scrimp on tarting up his Conan set with, as he put it, the "greatest Christmas decorations since the history of storytelling and humanity first came upon this world." In an over-the-top spectacle, Coco, dressed as Robo Santa, unveils an absurd but brilliant set — courtesy of decorator extraordinaire Kenny Irwin Jr. Among the highlights, there's a Christmas UFO, a giant yuletide chicken sandwich, a Larry King shrine, and Mr. and Mrs. San-Magnatron Claus. And to ensure his producer, Jeff Ross, doesn't feel left out, there's a Robo Rabbi. Happy holidays!
What were your top TV moments of the year?