Our top moments of the week:
11. Best Excuse for Facial Hair: White Collar mixes style and substance for its flashback episode. Fans finally learn how Neal met his love, Kate, and future partner-in-crime(-solving) Peter. But much more importantly, we get to see Tim DeKay rock a mustache! Your move, Bradley Whitford.
10. Cheapest False Alarm: Remember all those promos for that catastrophic tsunami on Hawaii Five-0? "This is one wave you don't want to ride," CBS warned us. Yeah, it never happened. It turns out the tsunami warning signal was a fake, instigated by a hacker who wanted to create an evacuation as a diversion. We haven't felt this cheated since Rob Lowe "died" for a hot second on Brothers & Sisters (the first time).
9. Worst Display of Emotion: The dysfunction between Sammi and Ronnie reaches a new high (or low) on Jersey Shore when she gets wind that Ron is being consoled by her arch nemesis, J-Woww. So she takes matters into her own hands and punches Ron square in the jaw. It made us long for the more genteel age of the bitch-slap.
8. Most Awkward Overshare: Jon Cryer spills the dirt on his Two and a Half Men co-star's recent trip to Vegas on Conan. It involves Sheen's visit to a porn convention and his companion, a famous porn star who won a very special award in 2008. Conan wisely cuts him off before he gets to the, um, good stuff, but unfortunately, it looks like Cryer will have a lot more tales to tell.
7. A Time Not to Kill Award: When 90210's Naomi and Silver are held hostage by Naomi's teacher-turned-rapist, Mr. Cannon, the resourceful duo finds a way to fake him out and tie him up. Instead of immediately calling the police (duh), Naomi unleashes all of her pent-up anger and holds a knife to Cannon's throat. Luckily, Silver talks her out of killing him, because, you know, murder never looks good on a college application.
6. Smallest Trap: The only place more dangerous than the cavernous canyons in Utah? The green room at The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. James Franco finds out the hard way, suffering a similar calamity as he did in 127 Hours when a mini-fridge collapses on his arm while he tried to get a fun-size Snickers bar. "I'm all alone in here, man!" he bellows to Stewart. "I'm going to die!" "He really has to be more careful," Stewart quips.
5. Biggest Tearjerker: American Idol always knows how to pull at the heartstrings and Season 10 is proving to be no exception. Milwaukee contestant Chris Medina turns the judges into softies with his powerful voice and the story of his fiancée suffering from a traumatic brain injury. Steven Tyler even gives his fiancée a kiss on the cheek before handing Medina his ticket to Hollywood. More tissues, please!
4. Best Meeting: TV's most famous middle managers, David Brent and Michael Scott, finally meet when original Office creator Ricky Gervais makes a cameo appearance on the U.S. version. The two share a hearty laugh over a "that's what she said" joke, of course, and David asks about any openings at Dunder Mifflin in a winking reference to Steve Carell's impending departure.
3. Most Shocking Death: At the end of a long day, Southland Detectives Nate Moretta and Sammy Bryant stop to chat with a group of unruly gang members. Although things at first seem under control, Nate is suddenly attacked by the mob and suffers a fatal blow to the head with a metal pipe. Watching Sammy hopelessly drag his lifeless partner back to the cruiser while fending off onlookers with warning shots reminds us yet again that you never know when violence may strike.
2. Best Reunion: After staging more family reunions than we can count on her show, Oprah Winfrey holds one for herself when she introduces Patricia, the younger half-sister she just learned of in November. "This is the miracle of all miracles," she says. Yes, Oprah, because you're the first person ever to be reunited with a long-lost sibling. But how does surrogate sister Gayle feel about this?
1. Most Amazing First Kiss: On Castle, Beckett and Castle finally lock lips — with a twist, of course. Attempting to distract a guard, the crime fighter and crime writer pretend to be a drunk couple before Castle goes in for an unplanned, very sexy and very real smooch. Badass as usual, Beckett ends it to pistol-whip the goon. "That was amazing," Castle says. "The way you knocked him out, I mean." Also amazing? Castle fingering his lips afterward like a high school girl.
What were your top moments?