Our top moments of the week:
13. Best Reveal: Granted, Det. Jake Peralta (Andy Samberg) shows a lot of skin in the first episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine — hello, Speedo! — but it's his boss, Capt. Ray Holt (Andre Braugher), who really exposes himself. Ray explains that, even though he caught the infamous Disco Strangler way back when, he's only now been able to lead a command because he revealed that he was gay 25 years ago — before the NYPD was ready to embrace an openly gay detective. A surprising moment for a sitcom.
12. Best Moves: On The X Factor, grouchy Simon Cowell tells the singing group AKNU (pronounced "anew" — groan) that he hates the song "Valerie," just before the sibling-trio act rolls out a lively, infectious performance of The Zutons song (covered famously by Amy Winehouse). Besides have great voices, the brothers are incredible dancers. (Think Michael Jackson-meets-the-Four Tops.) "I actually could watch this whole audition all over again. I loved it that much," Cowell admits. Proving someone wrong never felt so right!
11. Best Twist: If you guessed that aliens were responsible for Under the Dome's titular bubble, then you — and everyone who read Stephen King's novel or its Wikipedia entry — were right! Unlike in the book, however, it is revealed that the aliens are trying to protect those trapped under the dome. From what exactly? Hello, Season 2!
10. Biggest Leap of Faith: On the season premiere of Bones, Booth and Brennan are in a real rough patch. After Booth broke off their engagement (because a serial killer told him to), Brennan starts thinking that maybe some time apart is exactly what's in order. Fortunately, Booth's blabbermouth ex-padre reassures her of Booth's devotion. (It helps that Father Bartender knows Booth's secret.) Ultimately, Brennan tells Booth that she will stick around, but next time, the proposal is up to him.
9. The First Cut Is the Deepest: While hosting the Miss America pageant, The Bachelor's Chris Harrison is forced to cut off Miss Florida Myrrhanda Jones when she exceeds the time limit. "Don't make me the bad guy," he tells the audience, which, naturally, loudly boos him. "Bring it on!" he says. He's not here to make friends, people!
8. Best (Almost) Parting Shot: Just as it seems that Dexter may grant Deb a rare happy ending before the series finale, she's shot in the gut by Saxon, whom Dexter decided against killing in lieu of having him arrested. Jeez! The one time Dexter didn't kill the bad guy!
7. Best Underdog: National treasure Bill Nye the Science Guy has a less-than-auspicious debut on Dancing with the Stars. The judges call it choppy, gangly and rhythm-les and grant him a mere 14 points. But who cares? He performs the cha-cha in a lab coat and trademark bowtie to "Weird Science," natch, and it's as endearing as it is awful. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see who's the fan favorite this season.
6. Dead Woman Walking Award: Annie Walker's dead! Well, sort of. On Covert Affairs's midseason finale, we get the resolution to her and Calder's long-teased elevator shootout. "Operative Walker is dead. I repeat, Annie Walker is dead," Calder tells Henry after he shoots her." But she's not really: Annie, Calder and Eyal, along with an assist from Auggie, have faked her death so she can take down Henry while off the grid. And she'll do so as a brunette!
5. Best Flashback: It's no secret that Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake are BFFs, but a fake flashback on Late Night to when they went to Camp Winnipesaukee in 1995 offers a revealing (and hilarious) window into their friendship. As the two young'uns with curly 'dos and brace-faces lovingly perform Hootie and the Blowfish's "Only Wanna Be with You," they suddenly stop singing into their flashlights and appear to move in for a kiss, only to pull away and keep singing. Aw, Britney who?
4. Coldest Confession: It's tough to single out one moment from Breaking Bad's relentless gut-punch of an episode that was "Ozymandias." There's Hank's death, the Walt-Skyler-Walt Jr. knife tussle, Walt going full Heisenberg on Skyler over the phone and this, to name a few, but we'll go with Walt telling Jesse that he let Jane choke to death way back in Season 2. "I could have saved her, but I didn't," Walt sneers. Though Walt has always justified his lack of action by saying he was "saving" Jesse by letting Jane die, he offers no such explanation and instead twists the knife into Jesse during what he thinks is his former partner's final moments. But since Todd doesn't kill Jesse as promised, will Walt's malicious revelation come back to haunt him?
3. Worst Reprise: News flash! Paula Patton is totally cool with Miley Cyrus twerking on her hubby Robin Thicke at the Video Music Awards. Just how cool is she with it? When Al Roker suggests they twerk on the Today show, Patton awkwardly grinds against him. "Your wife's not going to get mad at you, is she?" she says. "I backed it up on Al!" How do we unsee this?
2. Worst Ending: In spite of Jeff Daniels' Twitter account, we still don't know if The Newsroom will return for a third season. If the second-season finale is any indication, creator and showrunner Aaron Sorkin doesn't seem to have much fight left in him. Will suddenly realizes that he can be happy again if he just forgives MacKenzie for cheating on him. And then he — out of nowhere — proposes to her! His question-popping is a fumbling speech that includes uncharacteristic lines like "no matter what you say, I'm going to be in love with you for the rest of my life" and "you own me." It's enough to make you change the channel.
1. Best Reprise: C.J. Cregg lives! During an appearance on The Arsenio Hall Show, Allison Janney mentions that Press Secretary Jay Carney had asked her to teach him "The Jackal," aka her character's legendary lip-sync on The West Wing for the uninitiated. Carney isn't in the house, but Janney gives everyone a free lesson by performing the Ronny Jordan tune atop a shocked Arsenio. Watch it here now. (And never talk to us during "The Jackal.")
What were your top moments?