Maureen McCormick Maureen McCormick

Maureen McCormick may have played the perfect American teenage girl on The Brady Bunch, but as the actress reveals in her tell-all memoir, she was anything but.

In the book, Here's the Story: Surviving Marcia Brady and Finding My True Voice, McCormick spills secrets about her off-screen romance with Brady brother Barry Williams, dating Michael Jackson and Steve Martin and her battles with drug addiction, the Associated Press reports.

McCormick, who recently has been seen on Celebity Fit Club and Gone Country describes her first kiss with Williams as "long, passionate and deep," but also notes that "part of me — a tiny part, admittedly — said to myself, 'Oh my God! I'm kissing my brother. What am I doing?'"

Martin, on the other hand, McCormick recalls as a "very good kisser." She went out with the funnyman several years after The Brady Bunch went off the air, but writes that it never went beyond the first date because of her drug problem.

"I was insecure and either high or spaced out (most likely both), and I didn't laugh at his jokes," McCormick writes. "Though Steve was too polite and confident of his talent to say anything, I'm sure my inability to carry on a normal conversation or respond intelligently put him off."

Her involvement with Michael Jackson, which occured while she was still working on Brady and Jackson was in the Jackson 5, was much more innocent. "Once we went ice-skating and he held my hand as we glided around the rink," she writes. "I wondered if he might try to kiss me, but he didn't. After another outing, he did give me a kiss goodbye. But it was only a gentle peck on the cheek."

McCormick, who was 14 when The Brady Bunch debuted in 1969, writes that she battled with personal insecurities and anxiety while hiding behind the "girl next door" image of her well-loved TV character.

"As a teenager, I had no idea that few people are everything they present to the outside world," she writes. "Yet there I was, hiding the reality of my life behind the unreal perfection of Marcia Brady. ... No one suspected the fear that gnawed at me."

That battle brought on bouts of depression and substance abuse, which included cocaine binges and use of Quaaludes. McCormick recalls binging at parties at the Playboy Mansion and Sammy Davis Jr.'s house, and even writes of botching an interview with Steven Spielberg for a role in Raiders of the Lost Ark because she was high.

The star cleaned up her act in 1985 after a series of interventions and trips to rehab. That same year, she married actor Michael Cummings, with whom she has a daughter. She also battled her depression with therapy and medication. And as for the struggle reconciling herself with her on-screen persona? McCormick writes that she's won that battle, too.

"I'll always be struck by how much a part of people's lives Marcia is and always will be," she writes. "But now I'm not bothered by the connection. It took most of my life, countless mistakes and decades of pain and suffering to reach this point of equanimity and acceptance."

McCormick's memoir hits bookshelves Tuesday. What's your reaction to this darker side of Marcia Brady?