Bam! The Late Show with David Letterman ordered two idols of food nation, Martha Stewart and Emeril Lagasse, to present tonight's top-10 list (11:35 pm/ET, CBS). Why them? Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia just paid $50 million for Lagasse's franchise of cookbooks, TV shows and kitchen products. The list for tonight follows. - Adam Bryant

Martha Stewart and Emeril Lagasse's Top 10 Dinner Party Tips

10. Martha: Now thanks to Dominos 2-pizza deal, I can host a full-blown dinner party for 14 bucks.

9. Emeril: Run out of cream? In a pinch you can substitute Martha Stewart's white semi-gloss paint.

8. Martha: Before cooking, lick poultry to make sure it doesn't taste "salmonella-y."

7. Emeril: Keep Regis away from the cooking sherry.

6. Martha: Bam! I'm sorry, I always have wanted to do that.

5. Emeril: An apron is a great substitute for pants.

4. Martha: For plump and juicy meats, inject that stuff Roger Clemens uses.

3. Emeril: Wait until dishes have been cleared before telling guests, "You just ate monkey."

2. Martha: Never let Jane Fonda make a toast.

1. Emeril and Martha: Whatever you do, don't invite Letterman.