Steven Retchless Steven Retchless

Aside from the impressive, horrifying and ultimately failed sword-swallower, Steven Retchless defined what America's Got Talent is all about on Wednesday's episode: being a one-person freak show. I do mean that in the nicest way, as part of what makes him so freaky is his adeptness at swinging, wiggling and falling from the poles he dances on. Sharon Osbourne called him "all things to everyone" (although there's no mistaking him for my dentist), while Piers Morgan's feedback was: "I didn't get it."

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So, Piers, let's break it down: a young man with heavy silver makeup on his face and lighter silver makeup on his chest wearing poom poom shorts and high heels has wound his body around not one but two poles, at one point dismounting into a split that proved nowhere nearly as hazardous as it looked, and all to the tune of Katy Perry's "E.T." Simple!

Watch Retchless' act, and see if he passed through to the next round: