Make no mistake, this show caught me like the hook from "Jumpin' Jack Flash." But for the love of Keith Richards, I can't figure out why CBS feels we need three nights of it. Last night's "clinic" episode was about as necessary as the 20-minute drum solo I nodded off to during a Poison gig in '89. But then again, a clinic may be something with which the winner becomes quite familiar if he/she gives in to the decadence of life on the road.
Speaking of which, check out the spread laid out for the gang in the dining room! It sure ain't no beggar's banquet. And a room full of Gibson guitars for dessert? These wannabes might not be rock stars yet, but they're certainly being treated like them. I was half expecting to see some poor kid weeding out the brown M&Ms from a candy bowl, a la Van Halen's notorious dressing-room request. Instead, I'm startled by the sight of Dave Navarro wearing only pants and a feather boa. And here I thought I was the only one who favored that look. Seriously, is Dave looking more and more like a goth Liberace or is it me?
No doubt the best part of Monday's show was the song selection. I just knew the rockers would eventually get into it over who sings what. And Tara and Deanna haggled over Black Sabbath's "Paranoid" like two fans fighting over Tommy Lee's tossed drumstick. Sure, Deanna graciously gave in, but I bet her struggle in rehearsal with R.E.M.'s "The One I Love" made her second-guess her good will. Honestly? I think she's going to nail it tonight. Sadly, I can't say the same for Tara, who instead of channeling her inner Ozzy for "Paranoid," is coming across more like St. Theresa. Tara, babe, you're really gonna need to summon the devil inside if you want to give that evil hit its due. Joseph Hudak
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