Lost Aaahhhhh. It's back. Hello, friend. And I know, my New Year's resolution was to quit trying to figure out every little bit of this puzzle with tan lines and palm trees, but we all know what they say about resolutions. So, the toy plane in Kate's briefcase. Weird clue or proof that she's not an entirely evil man-user? Hopefully both, because that bank-heist flashback was a ton of tease for a tiny payoff. Though I loved Sawyer trying to open the elusive briefcase. Very Samsonite gorilla. As for Sayid and Shannon translating the crazy French lady's song lyrics, well, she is a crazy French lady. We're lucky it wasn't a macaroni-and-

fromage recipe. I'm thinking the biggest point tonight is how the tide was turning, quite literally, for the survivors. Note how all of a sudden, Jack got kind of tough with Kate, and Boone did the whole big-eyed stare at his sister. Good guys going bad? I can swing with that. Oh, and forget Locke, people. Rose's "keep the faith" scenes with Charlie prove that she is the closest thing to God on that island. Unless you're my editor, Tracy. Then that would be Josh Holloway, and even then, that's with a lowercase g. Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model Search Oh, no, it's America's Next-to-Next Top Model. Now, y'all know I love it when TV skims stick figures out of the shallow end of the reality pool, but can we have a little getting-to-know-ya time before jumping into the good stuff? I mean, it's hard enough figuring out which wafer-thin wonder to hate without having a runway challenge eat up the first 15 minutes of the show. Then again, we should be happy anything here is eating. And did you see that Jenna's hiney hanging out of her shorts? Jeesh. If I were Paris Hilton-looking Krisi, I'd cry too. Damn thing should have its own agent. Speaking of, Cheryl Tiegs may want to fire hers for getting her some lame intro gig while Roshumba gets the full-time judging duty. Please. You may be bangin', honey, but you're no Tyra. Or Tiegs, aiight?The Road to Stardom with Missy Elliott Huh? Thirteen "performers" get to tour with Missy while vying for a recording contract and "Celine Dion" money? Does that mean it's annoying and looks horrible as a blond? Whatever. These reality shows are getting a little much. All the wannabes here want to be the next Jay-Z, but all they seem to be working is the Z part. As in Zzzzzzzzzz. Even whack white-girl rapper Heather's ouster was a snooze. Let's hope these kids get their freak on soon or this Road is gonna dead-end. And my lollipop-waving Missy is just too cool to be playin' like that, ya hear?The Boogeyman ad So not fair! Clearly these people know nothing about the thing that lived in my parents' cellar when I was a kid, or they wouldn't be tormenting me with movies like this. It's all fun and games until the basement ogre gets you, that's all I can say. Cripes, now I'm never gonna get to sleep. Thanks, boogeyman. Jerk.Alias Hello, my name is Damian, and I'm an Alias-aholic. I've been clean about seven months, but I think I just fell off the wagon. To be honest, it all started a few weeks ago, when ABC announced they'd be dealing us Season 4 on Wednesdays after J.J. Abrams' other addictive substance, Lost. Before you could say "Jack killed Irina," I was sneaking repeats from the DVD box sets! It just feels so damn good. You try resisting the Bristows and crew joining a top-secret black ops team. Led by Sloane and Angela Bassett, no less! Or Vaughn's overall Vartanosity. Honestly, that Kill Bill showdown between Syd and Rick Yune's samurai psycho alone was enough to send me into a blackout. Call it denial, but I think I can control myself now. But just in case, I'll keep coming back. Thanks for letting me share.The West Wing Hope is real! That's right. Jimmy Smits in the hizzy. And if we're lucky, he'll be in the White Hizzy come next season. Dag, you people who kept telling me to watch this show have gone and got me hooked. Granted, I know politics like I know Papua New Guinean tribal chants (probably less), but who cares! Martin Sheen and Stockard Channing are hilarious, and this Oval Office battle between loyalty and alliances is straight out of Shakespeare. Or soap operas. Donna's ditched Josh, Josh is bailing on Bartlet to join Santos' campaign and Santos is ticking off his wife. Wow. It's like "The Beltway and the Beautiful." We'll discuss Teri Polo's First Lady potential later. I'm seeing pillboxes. Filled with antidepressants, hopefully. Cheer up, girl. You're married to Jimmy Smits!Big Man on Campus I am never having children. They are never going to college. Especially not in Florida. And anyone who thinks Diamond deserves huge props for calling the girls on their "We love each other" act needs to sit next to me, because it's about damn time someone put that bull in check. Come on. It's six chicks and one dude. Hell, I've drawn blood over a sweater, OK? You know these harpies are one shampoo bottle filled with Nair away from a full-on throwdown.Law & Order Check it out! It's a Rescue Me reunion. Daniel Sunjata — who set off more than a few alarms this summer as Engine 99's chronic fornicator, Franco — is on trial for killing Andrea Roth, playing a socialite just slightly less shrewish than her role as Tommy's ex, Janet. Sure, I'd rather just have them back in new episodes of our favorite firefighter drama, but it's still nice to see them getting work between seasons. Even nicer was the closing-credits tribute to Jerry Orbach, which reminded me that every great loss leaves behind even greater memories.