Like most great TV shows and their stars, the Watercooler has had a little work done. Now your favorite columnists will be writing about their favorite shows. So look for their commentary throughout the week, and voice your opinions about last night's TV in our new Watercooler poll.
OK, I know what you're thinking and no, you're not crazy. We've shaken up the mix a bit, so now we'll each be covering specific shows instead of specific nights. This way, you get more diversity and I get to weigh-in on every Idol under the sun. (Hey, it beats the 57 Law & Orders, right?) So think of me as the fourth judge, with fewer product placements and less patience for Ryan Seacrest. Just the dirt on who soared, who sucked and who should start packing their bags. Tonight: The boys.
Mario Vazquez: This kid can blow and he's cuter than a box of kittens. But the clap-along-or-die "I Love Music" keeps him in Guarini-ville. Step up, son!
Anwar Robinson: Covering Marvin Gaye, this dreadlocked perfection is what's going on.
Joseph Murena: His "Let's Stay Together" had Simon invoking the spirit of Portuguese lounge singers, which I think is bad. Who knows. All I'm feeling is Joey Lawrence's more talented twin.
David Brown: All in love may be fair for Stevie Wonder, but Dave's mediocre rendition has "bottom two" written all over it.
Constantine Maroulis: The Black Crowes' "Hard to Handle" is hard enough to understand. Why throw in all the screeches? Go sit next to David!
Scott Savol: It takes a brave man to do Luther. Good thing this one's got the voice to make up for the John Wayne Gacy look he's working.
Travis Tucker: Lionel Richie's "All Night Long"?? Really?
Nikko Smith: Simon sees Bobby Brown. I see Urkel. I also see a moratorium on Stevie, Al Green and Marvin, OK? Unless they kick it like this guy, that is.
Anthony Fedorov: Clay 2.0? Nah. Better hair. Though Mr. Aiken would know to avoid "I Wanna Know What Love Is." Without Jennifer Holiday's backing vocals, why bother?
Bo Brice: The hair. The voice. The swinging mic stand. This rocker is one more Allman Brothers song away from screaming, "I am a Golden God!" Which he is, ya hear? Damian Holbrook
Cute Cali beach blond is torn between the very reliable Mr. Stable and the oh-so unpredictable Mr. Unable. Toss in a marriage proposal and the ex who won't take "I'm engaged to someone else!" for an answer and isn't this quite the 90210 redux? (Brandon vs Dylan, playa Linda style!) Not that I don't get the sexy appeal of bad-boy Johnny, especially since there's a lot of history there. But it's not like Simon's a big old goober! He could totally pass for George Clooney's little brother, devilish grin and all. And did you check out that cut bod when he woke up in Ava's bed? Goooood morning! (Oh, and his PhD is pretty hot, too.) So glad that Ava came to her senses, made up with Simon and threw out her loser ex. But because of Johnny's bizarre arrogance (loved how he told Jay he "didn't care" that Ava's in love with Simon) you know he ain't going very far. Robin Honig
Was I the only one who cracked up when Jack and Curtis stormed that office floor only to find your average cubeland, filled with dutiful worker bees, oblivious to the fact that a terrorist was working in their midst? (Makes you wanna take a little closer look at some of your more shifty-looking colleagues, now doesn't it?) How come none of them noticed the nervous guy with a map of the US with blinking targets on his computer screen, not to mention a weird looking device openly taped to the side of his desk? (Makes you wanna take a little closer look at some of your more technical colleagues, now doesn't it?) I was a little bummed that Paul wasn't directly connected to Marwan I kinda wanted him to be primo terrorist material. But hey, at least Jack got the chance to torture his girlfriend's ex. (How many guys wish they could do that?). After that little revolting episode (get it?), I'm guessing the dude won't be attending Jack and Audrey's nuptials. (How 'bout a lamp for a wedding gift?) I was starting to wonder what the deal was with Maya (was she only a device to humanize Driscoll, aka Miss Roboto?), until I saw she's being replaced in next week's ep. Good. 'Cause now that the device has been found and the power plants shut down (go Edgar!), CTU needs some fresh blood. RH