It's been a big week for family feuds. Rescue Me's Tommy had to deal with his demons, Breaking Bad's Walt had a crisis on the homefront, and even the Republican Party had to decide... Okay, look. We're just bringing up family because we want to talk Jon & Kate. The whole situation freaks us out. Just like a certain number seems to freak parents out. You'll see what we mean at the end of our Top Moments, crazy eights edition. Plus, check out our first Top Moments video.
8. Most Eager to Judge: Adam Lambert has told people they can "keep speculating" about his sexuality, but American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi has jumped right into assuming. "I don't think that Adam was ever in [the closet]," she said on The View. "I think he was always openly out. ... I mean, from what I've seen... I do. I never thought he wasn't." Why should we care what she thinks? Because "Guardi" is Italian for "gaydar."
7. Worst Family Reunion: When Rescue Me's Tommy Gavin meets three ghosts at once, he can only defeat them with a speech worthy of an Emmy reel. Things get trickier when he kills someone trying to rob the bar, and thinks the guy is his dead son, Connor. Scarier than Tommy shooting holes in the bar? When we found out, after watching the episode, what the name of Mike's band means.
6. Best Debate: Would you rather have a big tent filled with all kinds of people, even if they sometimes disagree, or a small tent filled with people who think the same way? Colin Powell likes the first option. Dick Cheney and Rush Limbaugh prefer the second. Their dispute, which could decide the future of the Republican Party, continued this week when Powell appeared on Face the Nation to reject Limbaugh's suggestion that he leave the party, and Cheney's assumption that he split when he endorsed Barack Obama. "Rush will not get his wish," Powell said. "And Mr. Cheney was misinformed. I am still a Republican." As long as we've committed to the tent metaphor, we'll keep going. What a circus this is! Who's the ringleader? Send in the clowns! How much for some cotton candy?
5. Best Male Bonding: On Breaking Bad, Walt nurses a beer with another father as they talk about the trials of raising daughters. What Walt doesn't know is that the heroin addict blackmailing him is his new drinking buddy's daughter. Her death, moments later, clears the way for Walt to protect his secrets and his own family.
4. Best Way to Bee: Kavya Shivashankar's victory at the Scripps National Spelling Bee was r-a-d, but 13-year-old Kennyi Aouad's graceful exit was worthy of some delicious palatschinken. That last word, which refers to jam-filled pancakes, is the one that did him in. "I tried my best," said the rock star of the spelling world. "It's alright, it's alright."
3. Smallest Mistake: The Bachelorette's Jillian thinks it's pretty funny when one of her suitors jumps in the ocean in a Speedo. So another of the guys decides to up the ante by jumping into a pool naked — right before the rose ceremony to decide who stays and who goes. Somehow Jillian doesn't find full nudity that amusing, so Brian goes home. And he thinks he knows what went wrong: "I'm fairly confident when I stripped it off I was pretty much hung like a light switch." Thanks, Brian, for not one but two unwanted images.
2. Worst Male Bonding: Mel Gibson drops in at The Tonight Show for some "guy talk" with departing host Jay Leno. Mr. Passion of the Christ tells Leno about his divorce, then says his new girlfriend is pregnant with his eighth child. He also calls her one of the few piano players "man enough" for Rachmaninoff. Leno: "And I assume she has a nice... Rachmaninoff"?
This fall, folks. Every weeknight in prime-time.
1. Hardest Thing to Watch: In Jon & Kate Plus 8's Season 5 premiere, the divided parents are surprised to spot paparazzi snapping their kids' birthday party from the bushes. You can say the family didn't sign up for this, but check out the scene before the party: Kate parades the kids past paparazzi and says to call them "P people." When your kids have a nickname for paparazzi before the age of five, you've done something wrong.
Is eight the magic number that makes parents crazy? Think Jon and Kate, Gibson, Octo-Mom... Just asking.
What were your Top Moments?
Watch more and weigh in: