You'd think Jon Cryer would be in a celebratory mood. After starring in four failed sitcoms, he has finally landed a prime-time hit with Two and a Half Men (Mondays at 9:30 pm/ET). But the 38-year-old former brat packer — he was Duckie in Pretty in Pink — won't break out the champagne just yet. Heck, he won't even settle into his trailer. "Let's just say, I don't decorate my dressing rooms," he says with a wink. "Not until the second season."

TV Guide Online: Love you on Two & a Half Men. But love you more in Pretty in Pink. It's one of my favorite movies ever!
Cryer:
Thank you.

TVGO: So, I've got to ask. Duckie — a blessing or a curse?
Cryer:
Oh, definitely a blessing. A lot of people have a lot of affection for him. And his predilection for mismatched prints has allowed me to wear mismatched clothing for the rest of my life and say, "It's an homage!"

TVGO: Speaking of clothes, do you still have the Duckman's shoes?
Cryer:
This is an issue. I lent them to Planet Hollywood. And now they won't give them back.

TVGO: Which Planet Hollywood? I'll get them for you.
Cryer:
That's the thing. You give something to them and they ship it around, like floating displays. They could be in the Planet Hollywood in Singapore. I don't know. All I know is they ain't sending me back my shoes. And that's wrong.

TVGO: Also wrong, by the way, is your wardrobe on Two & A Half Men. It's traumatizing.
Cryer:
You're traumatized? Listen, lady, I've got to wear 'em! After the episode where I wore those shorts with knee high socks and Rockports, I got a call from one of the big time muckety-mucks at my agency, who said, "OK, you have to wear different clothes or we're never going to be able to get you a job again." But what can I do? They're right for Alan, so...

TVGO: Thus, Alan's recent makeover episode. It failed. That was funny.
Cryer:
I had to try on 30 or 40 disastrous outfits. There's nothing that makes you feel better than trying on stuff that makes you look horrible. All day.

TVGO: Here's something that makes you feel better. You're married now and you have a kid.
Cryer:
[My son] Charlie is soooo cute! It's all I can do to keep from gnawing on his arms. And he's talking up a storm now. Yells everything. At first, I thought something was wrong with his hearing. But there's not.

TVGO: Thank God! Now, um, back to Pretty in Pink. I read somewhere that they shot an alternate ending where you, I mean, Duckie gets the girl. Is that true?
Cryer:
Yes. In the original ending, my character shows up at the prom and she's just so grateful to see me that we dance the moonlight dance together and that's the end. But, when we shot it, Molly had food poisoning and collapsed. Then, they ran it for test audiences, and I think they felt like it wasn't a very satisfying ending.

TVGO: You said you've incorporated a little bit of Duckie's crazy style. Have you internalized anything else? The way he talks, maybe?
Cryer:
Well, you know, so much of what I said in the film were things that I say anyway. "Do I offend?" That was something my best friend used to say to me all the time. So a lot of that was me.

TVGO: Ohmigod. Do I offend? Every once in a while I say it and I'm like, "Why do I say that?"
Cryer:
Well, you can blame me. That's fine. I'll take that.

TVGO: Oh, Duckie!