Hello, Oscar viewers. I know, I know, the show doesn't start for another two and a half hours, but don't you know the couture is almost as important as that statue? (Sort of.) Lucky for me, Joan isn't the only one who gets a say in tonight's best and worst fashion. So bring on the red carpet....

6:02 pm/ET: "Waxing is critical." Good opener, Joan. I'm a little concerned about her plunging neckline. But more on that later... apparently there are viewer questions that are too daring for even Joan to utter, but she's got her own interview wish list: Heather Mills, Mel Gibson, Diane Keaton, Anna Nicole Smith. Is this appropriate? Get back to the Oscars, woman!

6:07: Looks like we're going to be seeing some skits from Joan and Melissa throughout their coverage. Is Brad Pitt chuckling somewhere, after that take on Babel?