There are certain rules in normal human life, and this week, TV broke most of them. Top Chef filleted Rule No. 4: Be graceful in defeat. The Early Show trampled Rule No. 6: Don't add insult to injury. And Jersey Shore made a mockery of Rule No. 9: When a fake boob-thing pops out of a girl's top, try to be sort of cool about it. Only America's Got Talent remembered the most important rule of all, Rule No. 1: Don't assume stuff about people. Welcome to Top Moments, breaking-the-rules edition.
9. Sorest Losers: Top Chef's Kenny responds to his team's loss by throwing winning team member Alex under the bus. Kenny's teammate Kevin, meanwhile, deals with defeat by throwing a fit in the stew room. Maybe they can make a salad of sour grapes?
8. Grade-A Cliffhanger: On the summer season finale of Pretty Little Liars, Hanna finally learns the identity of the mysterious A. But as she goes to tell the others who A is, she's hit by a car.
13 Jersey-tastic movies and shows
3. Poorest Fake-Boob Decorum: Victorian rules of etiquette prescribe that when a lady loses her jelly-like cleavage enhancement in a hot tub, all gentlemen present shall make some excuse to leave the tub, allowing privacy for the insert's discreet replacement. When this happens on Jersey Shore, however, the men make the disappointing decision to instead throw the insert around and note its resemblance to a chicken cutlet. "Yo," says Pauly D. "Put that on the grill!"
2. Best Backup Dancer: Ellen DeGeneres has always been good for some competent dance moves, but she proves herself better than we'd ever have guessed in a routine for the So You Think You Can Dance finale. She even performs the choreographed mistakes perfectly. The dance with all-star tWitch Boss pays tribute to one tWitch did earlier this season with Alex, before an injury took him out of competition. Walking out onto the stage on crutches, Alex looks thrilled with his surprisingly good replacement.
1. This-Never-Gets-Old Award: Unexpectedly great singers have been a staple of talent shows for as long as goofy white dudes have been rocking Showtime at the Apollo. The Susan Boyle formula continues on America's Got Talent this week with Jackie Evancho, a tiny 10-year-old who — yes — turns out to be a phenomenal opera singer. Say it with us yet again: You can't judge a book's phrasing and pitch by its cover.
What were your Top Moments?
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