What do you get when you cross Veronica Mars with Battlestar Galactica -- aside from my head exploding? The third season premiere of Veronica Mars, that's what. Rob Thomas, the mad genius that he is, pays the ultimate compliment to Battlestar in Mars' Oct. 3 opener when Veronica's college RA introduces her to the word "frak," and it immediately becomes her new favorite expression. Could I be more in love with this ridiculously low-rated show? I honestly don't think I could.

The Battlestar "cross-over" was just one of many highlights from this season's first two episodes -- both of which I watched last night while fused to my sofa. Veronica and Logan worshippers have cause to be particularly giddy, as Neptune's "star-crossed" (Veronica's own words; see Episode 2 for more) lovers not only share a sweaty bed scene, but several really sweet and funny couple-y moments. And the early word on Piz? Fanfrakkintabulous. He's clever, smart, silly and, well, easy on the peepers.

As usual, I'm not allowed to say much about what transpires plot-wise in both episodes. In fact, the PR department's traditional "Don't Reveal" list is twice its normal length. But feel free to send me questions at ask_ausiello@tvguide.com and I'll do my best to answer them in Wednesday's Ask Ausiello. In the meantime, here are a few asterisked lines from the "Don't Reveal" list to whet your appetites.

Veronica Mars Season Premiere -- Please DO NOT REVEAL

1) Veronica ****** ********* ******'s "****** of the ********* *****" ******** ** ******* ****, **** ** *** *** ** jealous *.*. *** *****.
2) **** *********** ** *** ******* **** ****** *** **** *** ******* the **** **** *** ***** *****.
3) ***** tells ******** **** ** **** ******'s ***** **** ****. ******** **** ***'s ******** ***** ***** *** ********* *******. ***** ****** r********* it. ******** ******* * ***** ** *****'s *****.
4) ******** ***** *** *** ***** ** ***** *** *** ********** **** *** ***** ******. *** ID's *** ********** ** *** ******* ****** **** *** ***** him.