Gordon Ramsay by Kharen Hill/Fox Gordon Ramsay by Kharen Hill/Fox

Breaking a three-month silence, celeb chef Gordon Ramsay has slammed the $1 million lawsuit filed by a restaurant owner who claimed that Ramsay's yet-to-premiere Kitchen Nightmares cooked up drama by making the eatery seem worse than it was. "The idea of bringing moldy food in and planting actors [as disgusted customers] is a f--king joke," Ramsay tells TV Week. "[The plaintiff] is a man who got very scared and very embarrassed about his lack of professionalism.... We were issued a writ because, god bless America, if the toilet paper is not thick enough and you come out with a rash on your ass [you get sued]."

Is that true? Because the bathroom tissue here at the office is not exactly exemplary.

Earlier this month, a judge turned the suit over to arbitration.