Golden Globes Backstage Report!

• Jan 17, 2006 03:00 AM ET
• by Daniel R. Coleridge

After the shell-shocked winners step off stage at the Golden Globe Awards, they go backstage to meet the press. When they find us reporters camped out in the Wilshire Ballroom of the Beverly Hilton Hotel, the stars are granted a second chance of sorts: They can either address the world with more eloquence than they mustered onstage, or simply make bigger fools of themselves! Once this TVGuide.com reporter got past surly security guards at the door, I took my seat and watched a parade of Lost thespians, Desperate Housewives and Brokeback Mountaineers take their shots. Read on to see how they fared in the media frenzy.

5:15 pm/PT What will Syriana scene-stealer George Clooney do with his best-supporting-actor trophy? "I'm going to put this on the hood of my car," he quipped. "Is that too much?" Everybody's a joker, George. But this time it's a plus: While Mr. Clooney couldn't resist making that Jack Abramoff crack onstage, at least he wasn't in the mood to do any heavy-duty political speechifying tonight. The Globes are, after all, just one big party. "I don't want to make any speeches," he said. "You have to have a sense of humor about all this."

5:20 Best supporting actress Rachel Weisz (The Constant Gardener) strolls in supporting not only her trophy but some serious baby bumpage. A nosy veteran reporter remarks that Rach, who is five months along, wasn't showing much bump when she announced her pregnancy a few weeks ago. "The baby just popped!" Weisz shrugged. "It's good old biology. I don't know if the baby's ever felt this much of a shot of adrenaline before, though." So there.

5:29 Sandra Oh meets the press all giddy and girlish — nothing like Cristina Yang, the deadpan doc she plays on Grey's Anatomy. "I really can't relax my cheek muscles right now. I'm so elated!" she enthuses. "I'm shaking right now and I don't know what I said [onstage], but I hope it was coherent. When your name is called, your brain goes to mush. My character, Cristina, wouldn't [even] show up [here]. She would just gloat about it later."

5:44 Corny as it sounds, Geena Davis really is Commander in Chief of TV's leading ladies tonight. How does the spirited actress keep her face looking so stoic in the Oval Office every week? "I'm so in character that I don't know what my face is doing," she laughs. "The job comes with a certain weight. The president is listened to and [she] doesn't need to raise [her] voice. You want to keep it on an even keel."

5:45 Some cheeky troublemaker wants to know how President Mackenzie Allen's facial expressions compare to Dubya's. "Because she's the first of her kind," says Davis, "I like to invent her, so I didn't make a study of other leaders." Nice save. So what's next on her presidential plate? "Tomorrow I'm not only working, but I'm giving my first State of the Union address. So the speech I gave tonight is nothing!" she says. "But I consider this the role of a lifetime. I've had one of those before, in Thelma & Louise. To have another one is an incredible honor."

5:47 Hugh Laurie then arrives backstage to dish on his House win. Geena Davis recalls meeting him when they worked on 1999's mousy movie Stuart Little. "You realize that Mr. and Mrs. Little have won tonight," she smiles to him. "I just have to call Stuart and tell him." More seriously, she then tells Laurie, "I'm so pleased for you!"

5:49 Still stunned by his victory, Laurie can only grin back. "It does seem peculiar that Geena and I [won tonight]," he stammers. Reporters rush to pepper Laurie with questions about Dr. House's lousy bedside manner. "I knew that I loved him right from the start," he says. "I admit he's problematic. He's not a nice man, but we don't only like nice people. He's extremely obnoxious at times, but in the long run, he's on the side of the angels. He may not want to be there, but he does the right thing."

5:50 Whatever. Gosh, these press-room seats are stiff and uncomfortable. Is that the reason my tush is falling asleep, or am I just getting old?

5:58 Queen Latifah, who opened the Globes ceremony with a flourish, was inspired by Geena Davis' big win. "I'll run [for president]," she joked. "Dammit, I'll take the job. I'd make sleeping-in legal. Everybody can come in to work around 11.... No, maybe Oprah should be president."

6:04 The Office's Steve Carell is a happy man. "I was so betting against me on this," he says. "I thought [My Name Is Earl's] Jason Lee was going to win."

6:05 A saucy newshound asks when The 40 Year Old Virgin lost his virginity. "I'm telling people that I lost it at 17, only because it sounds like a good age," Carell responds. "I made a deal with my wife before the movie came out that I wouldn't say." While that one reporter is visibly disappointed, the rest of us are eager to get far away from the subject of Carell's personal sexual awakening. Seriously.

6:11 It's Reese Witherspoon! Love her. So much so that I'm reserving comment on her frock because it's hard for busy moms to suss out what to wear to awards shows, bless her heart. So anyway, will she bless us with a Legally Blonde 3? "Oh, I don't know. I don't know," Reese hedges. "Maybe she'll sing.... I would love to do a musical. I watched my friend Renée do it so well in Chicago." I like how she says "my friend Renée," like the Zellweger at the end is just implied.

6:13 Given her busy life, Mrs. Ryan Phillippe admits she wouldn't have minded watching the Globes from the comfort of her living-room sofa: "It's so fun to be in your slippers at home, eating your popcorn and going, 'Why did she wear that?'" Once again, I have no comment on that frock. "But this is fun," Reese goes on. "Ryan and I were quite enjoying ourselves sitting at a table with Shirley MacLaine, who is Ryan's new best friend. [They] are deeply in cahoots. She is funny and knows everything about everyone."

6:22 Jonathan Rhys Meyers, who wore a plain old black suit instead of a tux, appears to be deeply in need of a belt. The world's No. 1 Elvis impersonator awkwardly stands before the press, sweating profusely, tucking in his shirt and trying to keep his trousers from sliding off his skinny frame. Ironically, as he does this, Rhys Meyers is forced to discuss the "sexually provocative and animalistic" adulterer he plays in Woody Allen's Match Point. I am cruelly amused.

6:45 Lackawanna Blues star S. Epatha "I'm 53!" Merkerson storms onto the dais crying, "Epaaatha! Epaaatha! Maybe after today, you'll say my name right." The Law & Order star knows she can do no wrong tonight. Strangely, instead of inquiring about her Globe-winning turn in Lackawanna, someone asks for Merkerson's stand on Botox. "I did my breasts, I won't do my face," she grins. "I'm 53 years old. If I don't tell the truth at this point, f--- it!"

6:47 After Epatha clarifies that she had breast reduction surgery, she turns serious. Normally, she says, she doesn't work on Martin Luther King's birthday, but she made an exception to accept her Globe. Oh, and in case anyone didn't know, she happily reminds us: "I am the oldest-running African-American on a TV drama, so put that in your trivia book." Duly noted.

6:55 "I was really surprised," Weeds dealer Mary-Louise Parker says of defeating all the Desperate Housewives for best actress in a TV comedy. "I thought Felicity [Huffman] would win. I think we're all desperate housewives. My character is just a little bit more desperate than theirs."

6:56 "I don't think it's that controversial," Parker adds of her Showtime smokefest. "I'm really in favor of legalizing marijuana. I thought people would be more offended by [this series] than they are. I'm surprised they weren't."

7:00 I regret I have not seen Paradise Now, which won best foreign-language film. But just as a side note: German-born producer Bero Beyer is a looker. God bless mothers who don't have their kids' ears pinned back, because his jug-ear look is geekaliciously adorable. Can we declare this a hot new trend, Hollywood? Who's with me? Anyone?

7:20 "I just did a dramatic love story," Brokeback Mountain director Ang Lee says humbly. "Whether it's a cultural phenomenon is not for me to say." Well, I'm sayin' it then! Nice work, Mr. Lee. Consider yourself officially forgiven for The Hulk.

7:32 All awards-show victors claim they didn't expect to win, but Walk the Line star Joaquin Phoenix really didn't like his chances tonight. "I lost a $220 bet to Ryan [Phillippe]," he reports. "He bet me that I would win and I said, 'No way.' We bet whatever we had in our pockets. He came after me right away for the money, as soon as I got off stage!"

7:53 The Lost gang takes the backstage dais. Naturally, they refuse the Hollywood Foreign Press Association any story-line preview info. "If the cast were to leave [the stage], maybe we'd be able to work something out," says Damon Lindelof. "We have a strict don't-talk-to-the-cast policy." Guess you'll just have to keep reading Ask Ausiello for the choicest Lost scoops! (Um, that'll be $220, Mikey. Pay up!)

8:01 She may've lost out on a Globe for Housewives, but Felicity Huffman was richly rewarded for her transgender turn in Transamerica. After a giddy, sorta nonsensical Q&A, Mrs. William H. Macy happily cedes the stage to Capote's Philip Seymour Hoffman, giving him a generous hug and kiss.

8:02 How does Hoffman imagine Truman Capote would feel about his Globes win? "He'd probably be critical and point out all the things that were wrong," the actor smirks, "but he'd probably love all the attention being showered on him."

8:10 As I rush out to file this story, Brokeback Mountain star Anne Hathaway learns why the Wilshire Ballroom's security guards "hath-a-way" of getting on our nerves. Not only do they fail to recognize real journalists when they see 'em, the bossy bouncers apparently don't see many movies, either. As Anne and some Brokeback producers are denied entry, she politely pleads, "I'm in the film!" And again, I am cruelly amused.