Gilmore Girls
If you read yesterday's GG Insider, you know I didn't lie when I promised the 100th episode would be good. There was just the right mixture of super-sassy lines, quirkiness and nail-biting drama at Emily and Richard Gilmore's re-wedding. But before we get to that, how much fun was that impromptu bachelorette party? Lorelai gifted a rum-soaked Emily with a box of penis-shaped pasta — and she actually loved it! By the way, I recognized Sookie, Lane, Miss Patty and Babette (Sally Struthers) among the guests, but who the hell is Gypsy? Either they introduced this never-before-seen character as a joke ("Look everybody, it's Gypsy!") or I just don't remember her. [Editor's note: Thanks to all the readers who wrote in to remind me that Gypsy is Stars Hollow's town mechanic. Since she was last seen in a Jess storyline — awhile ago — I forgot the poor gal. My bad.] I also enjoyed Babette's comment on the wedding's venue, the Windsor Club: "That ain't no toilet bowl." Didja catch Lorelai's gay gag to Richard when he called from his bachelor party? "Geez, Dad. Hangin' out at the bathhouse again?" Nice.

On to the wedding. Loved seeing Happy Days star Marion Ross — who previously played Richard's mother — return to the show, this time as Cousin Marilyn. Her randy Desperate Housewives references to Luke were cute: "I've always wanted to have an affair with a gardener. Apparently, that's very in now." Now, let's talk fashion: "Hey, who likes my dress?" Lorelai asked. "'Cause man, you should've seen the one my mother wanted me to wear." Ya should've followed mom's advice, hon. The Gilmores are lucky Joan and Melissa Rivers weren't guests at the ceremony, because Lorelai's purple jacket was definitely a fashion don't. And did Rory have to come in drag? The lovely Alexis Bledel looked like an awkward k.d. lang wannabe in her suit. Also, Lorelai caught her daughter being a Gilmore Whore again. Did Rory's very first kiss with Logan have to involve clothes coming off? This ex-virgin's making up for lost time fast.

American Idol
The much-anticipated Hollywood auditions begin! The manufactured "drama" of Shunta Warthen's I-got-on-the-wrong-bus saga was very silly. As a Los Angeleno, I know it's maybe a 20-minute drive from the Grove mall (where the gang went shopping) to the Orpheum Theater. That said, I'm glad Shunta wasn't shunted aside by the judges — her impressive audition was worth waiting for. But how many times did we need to see that clip of wedding-ring-pawner Regina Brooks in tears? Too bad she was just OK, rather like Rich Molfetta, who didn't even survive the Hollywood round despite all the hoopla surrounding the twin twist. At least his twin bro JP won't have to eat his heart out too much! Finally, I predict that if 16-year-old Vegas girl Mikalah Gordon remains on Idol long enough to start attending Fox parties, she's gonna become fast friends with Simple Life divas Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. Can't you just picture it?

The Amazing Race
At last! It's the two-hour season finale, so I'm gonna haveta break it down for ya, hour by hour...

Hour 1: The Shanghai train ride and those terra-cotta warriors looked fun — sightseeing is the best part of watching Race — but the Chinese car-factory challenge didn't. (For some reason, I kept thinking that if the guys from Dude, Where's My Car? had been there, they would've gotten high from huffing the spray-paint fumes.) How funny that, after Aaron and Hayden finished with their incompetent cabbie, Freddy and Kendra got in his car! That just had to be a reality TV setup. It was also amusing that Aaron took a page from Jonathan's bitchy book, throwing backpacks around in frustration. Speaking of frustrating, why did the guys put their whiny women in charge of that maddening padlock challenge at Mount Hua? Miss Hayden needed to be slapped for busting her key in a lock, but Rebecca won props for telling Adam to hush up or "I'll have to come over there and throw you off the mountain." She provided much-needed comedy relief this week. And Aaron's post-elimination marriage proposal to Hayden was sweet — although my cynical side questions whether they just got engaged on the spot for publicity purposes. These two are aspiring actors, after all.

Hour 2: More comic relief from Rebecca as she tells a non-English-speaking cabbie that Adam "has three testicles." Could you believe that, despite being in the lead, Kendra wept and even lied about having a sick child to try to get on the plane in Osaka? Ugh! She's been downright despicable throughout the entire race. I was so disappointed she managed to scarf down the Gino's deep-dish pizza in Chicago without vomiting it up. I know, it's mean to say, but I really didn't want Freddy and Kendra to win — but dammit, they did. If only that freakin' train hadn't blocked Kris and Jon's path. Had the blondies won, we wouldn't have had to listen to Freddy wax all cheesy about Kendra's "perfect human soul." Barf-o-rama!