Gilmore Girls
Author Norman Mailer stopped by Stars Hollow, apparently just to get berated by Sookie, the crazy, pregnant chef. He's not my favorite writer, but you know why I like him? Because he's the only person in this episode who didn't yammer at 100 miles per hour! Seriously, I always enjoy the cute banter. This week, however, it felt especially fast, like everyone in town had too many cups of Luke's famous coffee. Speaking of our fave unshaven diner owner, he and Lorelai have been waaaay too cutesy and happy for the past few episodes. Something's gotta happen to break 'em up anytime now. Tick-tock... Meanwhile, at Yale, Rory's flirtation with Logan, the cocky, arrogant rich boy, continues to intrigue, and her Lois Lane act is adorable. Maybe I just like Alexis Bledel better now that her hair's growing out long again.

The Biggest Loser
I like Maurice, so I was sad he lost zero weight — and after he bravely refrained from licking his fingers during the bake-sale challenge, despite his stomach urging him to do so. Po' Mo. I felt for him 'cause I'm trying to trim down my tummy, and Chocolate — that tempting bitch goddess — is calling my name, too!

On the whole, I'm conflicted about this show. On the positive side, it's nice NBC's doing something fresh and unusual to motivate our overweight nation to get off the sofa and get fit. Yet the nasty competition on these reality shows always leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Kelly is a total beeyatch with her condemnations of others. I just don't like how everyone's trying to get healthy, yet rooting for the others to fail and be voted off. When Matt the gay guy dissolved in tears, having gained weight when he'd been hoping so hard for his rivals to screw up, it was depressing. Isn't it possible to do compelling TV without humiliating folks and setting them against one another? C'mon! Who's with me?

P.S. When it's weigh-in time, I really don't need the men to take off their tank tops and flash their man boobs. If the women aren't required to take off their tops, the men shouldn't have to expose themselves either.

Veronica Mars
I just had lunch with a pal who called this his fave new show — "a cross between Alias and Buffy the Vampire Slayer." My take? He's just mourning the Slayer and suffering Alias withdrawal because Sydney Bristow won't be back on ABC's air until January. I don't dislike this show. I'm just not feeling it like some of y'all do.

The 100 Scariest Movie Moments
What a great way to get revved up for Halloween! It's a list show, so I'm gonna get all listy in discussing it:
1. Hey, I just spotted TV Guide Online's own film critic, Maitland McDonagh — looking fabulous, by the way — among the experts in this fun retrospective of horror-movie moments. She reminds me that Cat People is one of those kooky old flicks I always meant to see.
2. I could see them letting Bride of Chucky star Jennifer Tilly and Buffy's Amber Benson do celebrity commentary. But what the hell is Who's the Boss? kid Danny Pintauro doing on this show? I'm sorry, but the years have not been kind to him. Oh wait, he was in Cujo? I forgot about that. Still, some of these folks' "expert" qualifications are questionable. Yeah, I'm talkin' about you, Coors Light Twins.
3. That killer's mask in Alice, Sweet Alice totally freaked me out when I was little. Just like The Carver's mask on Nip/Tuck!
4. I have never heard such a dark take on The Wizard of Oz. Who knew Margaret Hamilton was so badly injured in Munchkinland? Or that she demanded they have her body double spell out "Surrender Dorothy" on the broom? Good stuff. I must confess that the Wicked Witch of the West was my idol growing up. I actually rooted for her when she threatened the Scarecrow with fire and drugged Dorothy and the Lion with the poppies. Yes, I was a strange child.
5. That damn clown doll in Poltergeist is the No. 1 reason I fear clowns.
6. The truly scary thing is that The Exorcist is my all-time favorite movie. As they played the clip of Linda Blair uttering evil obscenities (actually voiced by Mercedes McCambridge), I had to laugh — my well-worn copy of Exorcist's extended-length version is lying right next to my TV. Oooh! And Bravo is running Exorcist II: The Heretic on Friday night. I never wanted to screen the other sequels because I've always heard they sucked — just like the recent Exorcist: The Beginning prequel did. Still, after seeing the clips from this Heretic one, I've decided it may be just too campy to resist.
7. Back to Jen Tilly. Just saw the trailer, and I can't decide if I'm happy or sad to see her doing Seed of Chucky. My loyal readers know I've encouraged Woody Allen to save her career. That's all I can do, folks.

Regret: The Anti-Drug
How cool is this public-service ad, where a girl imagines she's "haunted" by her grandmother — prompting her to put back the cash she swiped from granny's purse to buy drugs. Message received loud and clear: No drugs or thievery for me! And the ghost thing had me completely sucked in while trying to figure out what the heck I was watching. Very clever.

NYPD Blue
The day after Andy Sipowicz's shooting, he's right back at work. What a trouper. And Medavoy says he "just saw Connie downstairs." Aha! You may recall how I used to make a game out of waiting for Bill Brochtrup to get a line to say. Now I wait for somebody to explain Connie's whereabouts that week. It's so weird that Charlotte Ross went MIA and now the show has to keep dropping these mentions of her, so we're reassured that Andy hasn't lost another loved one. Awkward much? Like Connie would ever stay under the radar after her child was threatened?

That said, Andy's battle with his stalker has been very gripping. Pulling the gun on Stan Hatcher had to backfire on him. If I've learned anything from watching TV, it's that you shouldn't draw a gun on anybody unless you plan to use it! Happily, that wasn't necessary, since Lieutenant Bale interceded and got Hatcher shipped out of town. (Think he'll really stay gone in Florida, though?) Nice how they still kept the tension between Andy and his new boss, despite Bale's helping him.

Oh, and Bill Brochtrup's first line (spoken to Dennis Franz) came at about 9 minutes into the episode: "How are you, Detective? We need you in one piece, please." What can I say? Old habits die hard.

P.S. — I busted out laughing when Bill stepped in as the fake (and trés fey) witness, tricking Andy's accidental shooter into confessing his crime. "Omigod! That's him!" Too funny.